Cross Your Fingers. Breathe. Cherish.

Bye 2011. Aloha 2012

2012-01-17T07:58:00.000-08:00

Hiiiiiiii. It's holiday now. I suppose y'all understand why I started talking about welcoming new year in 17th January. 17 days late. Because I got the time with the blog thingy just when I have a holiday. To make my defense towards ignoring this blog, fyi, i have to face the final test since 3rd January and the final test week took 2 weeks long. So yeah, I'm free now and its holiday so I can start writing again. :D. Kay, enough for the introduction.

Welcoming the 2012! Hello 2012 & Thank you 2011. Big thanks.
2011 have been amazing. Big surprise. Big sadness. Big happiness. Big laughter. Big tears. Big anger.
For everything. For the ups and downs. For the normal life.
Seriously.

I didn't pity my bad days. Because it's normal. I don't wanna have 365 days of happiness although that seems so tempting. In order to feel happiness you have to taste the sadness. 365 days of happiness seems boring too, I think. And I'm really thankful for the bad days, for the angers, for the tears, for the sadness because I know that wont be last forever. Tough problems don't last, tough people do. Once I get through it, patiently, following the hurtful waves, I know that happiness is waiting. Full of a big joy. Big surprise. Big smile. Big laughter. Big blush. Big light on my eyes. And it's true. I just gotta believe and put my faith on. A silver lining behind every cloud. O bumpy road of life. I get through the bad days, I earn my payments, days full of happiness. God is good people. You just gotta believe that will pass. Rollercoaster, it is. I have my bad days and good days. I don't wanna have 365 days of happiness. I want 365 days of normal sadness and happiness. In 365 days I experience the feeling of giving up and how in a sudden giving me a prize making me stand still and not giving up. Felt like I was losing hope and the universe pushing me back to the line. To not losing hope. Everything. Human life. As normal as it is. I think human shouldn't be worried about anything. I mean, like everything is already lined up. You just gotta make sure your hold is tight and your head is straight and calm and just passing it through. Don't worry, if you're out of line, the universe will push you to the right line again. Human should just thinking the best way to face whatever in front of them. How to react nicely and smoothly to passing it through without a problem. And don't forget to put your faith on. And as you hold in tight to your fight, everything will works on. Nothing is fail when you have your faith.

2011. I get to know my college friends. Better and better. Slowly but sure we're bonded together without even realizing it. Slowly we know that when we're together, we're cooler than everyone else. Hehehe :P. Am not gonna lie but before we bonded together. We've been shouting, judging, crying in front of each other when we realize we have something wrong and couldn't work together and then decided to make a meeting. Dramatic. But effective. I didnt mean that soon there's no obstacle around us but everything just got easier and lighter after that incidents. God bless. And may God keep our bonds tight forever. Our agenda as a freshman done successfully. As we stepped into being a sophomore everything just getting fun. #HIUNAIR2010 :) We even celebrate the New Years Eve Together. And almost got a food-coma. :D

2011. He still got me, tightly indeed. And he doesnt even know about it that he got me still as tight as the first time I fell on him. Through the year, such a rollercoaster feeling. I'm almost going mad when I got rarely saw him anywhere. Totally made me going mad and insane. The combination of missing, hopeless, anger, clueless, caring when I didnt get to know what he's doing and where is he at the moment. So weak. But as I've said before. It's all about ups and downs. There comes a moment when we together, side-by-side, and everything. Its didnt just make my cheek blush. But he also made my heart blush. And I'm smilling like an idiot. Smiling as I slowly drifting away to sleep. Made my heart beats louder than any sound. Waking up the butterflies in my stomach after those i-miss-you-so-much days. And I fall in love again. I couldn't help but falling in love all over again with him. Mr. Adorable. Every conversation between us. Every joke between us. Every moment when you listening to me talking non-stop about anything. Every simple thing around us. I'm totally thankful for everything about you. Every missing-and-make-me-almost-insane days and every moment when you sit beside me or just being around. Getting to know that you're around or just getting to see you for an instant time. And through the year, my hopes remains the same, I hope you falling on me and we could be together. Through the year, you should know that I always care, I always around, I always be there, even when I don't know about anything.. I care, Mr. Adorable. I do care.

And so. 2011, thank you. For another best year in my life. Well done.
And 2012, honestly I'm not so excited like last year and more being on calm facing the new year and not being so full of energy like when I did in last year. But I'd like to start 2012 with this words: Adventure awaits.

May be there more adventures, imagination, books, travelling, inspiring things and good things. Good things is just about to come.

2012, game on.

We Made Our Peace

2011-10-30T10:15:00.000-07:00

Well, after all the conflict with this guy, finally we made our peace. Thank you God.
Thank you for man up and admit all your mistakes. I really do appreciate it.
It's same for me all along, I understand how you feeling tho your words is rude at times.
What I've been angry, pissed off, irritated of is that attitude. Never your feeling.
Because there's no one to blame, if you talk about feelings.
Again, thank you for man up and admit that you've been acting friggen annoying :)
I've forgive you. For real. Good for you to move on :)

What was getting in the way, has been done. Has been solved.
Good things just about to arrive. May good things will came.
I wish the best for you. Don't irritate people again haha acts better next time towards your next girl ;)

I hope the path will be clearer and easier. Dear God, please make it true.
I'm not gonna lie but of course I hope you, Mr. Adorable and me.. I wanna be with you.
There I said it, I wanna be with you... I want to.

Dear God, You're the greatest of all and I know you always listening to my prayers.
Thank you for everything. Thank you for all your greatness. Thank you for always listening.
Dear, God. Make it true, please ? o:)
Amin.

Bored and What I Wanna Do

2011-10-25T09:33:00.000-07:00

I’m so bored today. I don’t even wanna put any attention to the class tho I’m still getting involved in the discussion over History of Diplomacy. I wanna do nothing. I’m so bored that I text my mom ask her to take me out. What I really like to do ? All I like to do is just thinking about you. That pretty much will do good. Pffft. I know this is tacky. But that’s what I felt. I’m so bored, I don’t wanna do anything except just curling up and thinking about you. And I really got this urge to say it out loud. So I post this in twitter since I cant post it anywhere else with my phone. With censoring some words. Hahaha. That’s too chessy for twitter. Hahahaha.

“What I’d like to do is just thinking about you”

CHESSY I KNOW. PSH. BUT IT IS. AND I CANT HELP IT. Mmmmmh. That pretty much is that.

Giggle, Smile, Jumping and You.

2011-10-23T11:19:00.000-07:00

Hi. Another thank you for you Mr. Adorable for making my day.
And another chessy post from me hahahah.

Last friday night definitely one of the moments with you that made my day.
You never failed on making my heart blush. Making my heart beats fast. Make me giggle. Make me smile.
I always love moments with you. No matter how simple it is. Because it's with you.
It's with you that I share that moment. Simple conversation. Simple me. Simple you.
It's enough to make me giggling, smilling and jumping like a kids visit the carnival for the first time.
I love joking around with you. Make fun of you. And you make fun of me.
I love sitting around with you. Talking about things.

I was falling asleep with a smile on my face. And tonight, I'll go sleep (still) with a smile on my face :)

You give me the feelings that people write novels about. Write lyrics about.
I love you being around me.

Dear you, Mr. Adorable.
Thank you for you, thank you for every little thing, thank you for the feelings you gave to me.
I hope that I could make you happy, just like you made me happy.
I hope you do fall for me too :)

For everything that you up to, I hope everything will get done succesfully.
I hope your journals will get done.
When you're busy, please take care and don't be sick :)

Hey, be around, okay ? :)
When you sleep, hope you'll have a nice dream and a tight sleep.
Bonne nuit :)

Friday.

2011-09-16T11:09:00.000-07:00

I HAVE THE BEST FRIDAY EVER. THE MOST ADORABLE FRIDAY EVER.

Thankyou for you, Mr. Adorable. You really made my day. Like you always did.
And you never failed at that. I've been missing you so bad. I'd go ups and downs on my own missing you.
I've been missing you, I've missed we talk together. Joking. Talk about anything.
I wish I could freeze the time. I've been missing you badly.

I love the way I cant do anything but just blushing all the way.
I cant help to have this foolish smile like an idiot on my face and biting my lips
I can't help it.
I miss you. I've been missing you.
I love the way your hand in mine and
I love the look on your face today.
I love watching your smile.
I love hearing your voice again.
I love we can talk. I've been missing you so bad. I love our conversations.
I love today. Because you've been like going wayyyyy to far away lately and I cant reach you.
I love our ordinary joke. I love the fact that I could stare in your eyes.
I love the way that I'm nervously trying to keep it cool when the fact that I could jump at any time
I know this is cheessssyy.
I know this is tacky.
But it just is.

Psh, you know what ? I like you. YOU. Your thoughts, your acts, your personality
Your looks ? It's just a BIG bonus. And your eyes is a big bonus too. A damn gorgeous bonus.
I do fallin for you. I fall for who you are. What I've been missing is you. The way you do.

I hope I can reach you around easily. Please ?
I'd love if we could really sit together and talk about nonsense.
Because I've been missing you.
I hope you do, too.

I've been missing you badly, Mr. Adorable.
Thankyou for today. Thankyou for making my day.

Goodnight you, Mr. Adorable.
You got jobs to do. You got works to do.
Have a nice and tight sleep. Have a very sweet dreams.
Take care. Bonne nuit :)

As Always

2011-06-21T11:02:00.000-07:00

Hi. Ever think about me ?
I do think about you. I miss you.
DO you know the kind of missing that I'm talking about ?
The kind of missing that you willing to care for that person.
But you cant show it or acting it in front of him.
All you can do is just whispering 'take care' 'have a good day' in your heart?
Driving you crazy. Made you miss him.

I recognize you enjoy your new activity, though you're so tired.
I'm jealous to all of your partner. I'm jealous that they get to see you everyday :'(
It's cute watching you being happy with your new activity.
I wish I could be part the moment when you're happy too.

I'm sorry. I know I'm being cheesy, tacky and so eew.
I miss joking around with you.
I miss that I could easily saw you walking around.
I miss you, monsieur.
I miss talking to you.

Sometimes I wonder, if i put a weight on your shoulder with the fact that i fall hard on you.
Because sometimes I feel like I'm invisible for you. Yes. Sometimes.

Hi. Please, don't be in love with someone else ?

City-Sickness

2011-06-02T17:07:00.000-07:00

Hi. Bonjour everyone.
First of all. I'm in a goody-good mood today. The fact that I awake at 5 am because of my period and stomach hurts like hell ain't bugging me. 'Just go online on laptop and looking around to sites. Basically my mood going awesome since the first time i put my headphone to my ears. This morning's playlist is winning! duh. Hahaha. Checking out on my facebook and email account since am not subscribing for email in my Blackberry.

Anyway. I am. Was actually, last week to be exact-- being so siccccccccccck this city. It was like all i wanna do is saying fuck you to this city. I feel so tired and weak all day long. And I'm sick of doing my task. The latest subject of my International Relation Theories class-- i didnt get it much. And my Introduction to Globalization lecturer leaves us for Sorbonne ??!! Geez. I dont know what am gonna study for the rest of my college days then. The other lecturer ? Well. It's pretty clear that no one get along with her. Umm. Sorry to say. But truth be told. So yeah. I was like in the worst mood ever for a whole week. Up and down mood. But then in Friday, me and my college mates going to Cuban Rondo for IR-FEST survey. Not for a holiday tho. Doing tracking and stuffs. But the most important thing is... OUTTA THIS CITY!!!!! Muahahaha.

And you know what, it's true. When I'm back to Surabaya. My mood is better. And my body is so freaking healthy hahaha. My body was like hot and cold for a whole week. And when I came home, i'm okaaayyyy. Hahaha. Cool. So yeah. It's true that i have a city-sickness. And I'm dying . for holiday again!. Please. Please. Please. Give me holidaaaayyyy! Cant wait!

Hey you-- take care. Always. :)

Who I Wanna Be & An Insomniac Effect : Be An Adventurer

2011-05-16T17:33:00.000-07:00

Hi. Its 17 May 2011 07:38 am right now. And I've been awake with no sleep since 16 May 2011 07:30am. Yes. I'm insomniac and I cant sleep. :[

Actually. I've been feeling sad at night but I cant find the reason why. It just hard to breathe. I try to understand my head but I cant. There's been like a huge hole in my chest. It was around 1am till 4am. But since it's already bright now. I'm not feeling sad again. I guess when people said, "the darkest is always before the dawn" is true. Literally and un-literally. So. Since I still haven't sleep now. I'd like to share some of my thoughts, my dreams, my obsession, and my passion.

Since long time ago, I realize that I love travelling. Go to the place that cool and awesome. Unknown place. I always love the idea of going to the beach, museum, monument or an ancient building. But fyi, when i said museum, monument or ancient building, i am not referring to any of Indonesian museum, monument and ancient building. Why? Because the place would be dirty, never been keep or else, full of myth. I know I said I love mythology. But not Indonesian mythology. Call me a chicken. But Indonesian mythology always related to some kind of ghost or spirits with scary symbols and paintings. I hate that. I dont like it. When I said about mythology is, I am talking about dragons, fantastic beasts, wizards -- not dukun!!!, which is scary. Since there's a small choice for me, I only play with nature. And I'm not really like animals. So that's why I prefer go to beach than forests. Or lake. Or mountain. Climb a mountain would be awesome.

Recently, I watch National Geographic Adventure all the time. Their programs such as, By Any Means, Long Way Down, Departures and etc. light up my passion to be an adventurer. It's cool you know, they are visiting a lot of fascinating and amazing place and monument using a minimal transportation. It's cool. I know in the reality riding the transportation will be not as fun as what can be seen in TV but still, it's cool. They use canoe, bajaj, trains, becak and etc.! They went to any places! Ah, what dreamy life. I would really love to do that you know.!And they can see a lot of phenomenon, peoples, cultures, and all the annoying stuff when they came across their country. I cant wait for the By Any Means episode when they finally stepped their feet in Indonesia. Would really love to know the road that they taken and what place they visit. You know because National Geographic Adventure would not like any other tourist right?. They must be go to different place.

I'm not sure about that. Let's just hope so!

You know what is my wildest dream recently ? America!.
Actually Europe is the first place-- UK. France. Ireland. America. Greek. But since a lot of movie always take a place in US. Not always- much more. So, that's why I have much more information about the places in America. Okay, now it's my time to dreaming about going to USA.
First, I'm going to Museum of National History. Then, Capitol Building. And next, all the unique and big libraries in US. Then Stone Monument in Georgia, USA. And the best place ever which is really my wildest dream.

Smithsonian Museum. -- I can feel my feet is jumping while I'm typing this!!!! I would be so happy and ah! that would be undescribable feeling tobe there. And if I could I want to go to the storage room of Smithsonian Museum also. Imagine it. Smithsonian Museum is a 7--if I'm not wrong-- museum. A group of museum in one place is the best thing in life!!!!. The best thing that any of historian could imagine. That would be awesome my dear friend. That would be one hudred percent awesome. Argh!!

One day, baby. One day.

You know what I'm thinking right now ? Having a job in National Geographic Channel. That would be super amazing awesome job ever. Hahahaha. If you wanna do that, Dina. Why on earth you are studying about states and wars and politics if later you are going to travel around.???? Ha. Well. I dont care my dearest thought. That job would be such a super awesome job! That job is kill it! Boo!! I dont know how to get into National Geographic Channel. Maybe we should first start be an adventure. And since I'm nowhere being an adventurer. I should start. Doing all the things. Do yall know I have ever do a cliff climbing! Small cliff actually. But still. That was awesome.This holiday, I should do that again. And I will go to places. Like really enjoying. Oh my God, please make it come true.

I think this is because depressed about college.

Well, I dont care and I dont care. I want to do that and do that do this and do that. Smithsonian Museum, please wait for me!!!

Okay. Thats the climax, now I dont know what to write again. Since the fact my eyes starts to heavy and I already have a breakfast. I feel like I'm going to sleep. But I'm not sure either. I dont know why i could get an insomniac. Lately, I always sleep at 12pm. And woke up at 6 am. Is that because I drink a coffee around 8pm yesterday. I cant believe it. That coffee never affect anything to me. the only coffee that affecting is Torabika Kopi Susu, which made me cant sleep for 2 days. Thats horrible. I'm so tored but I cant sleep. I never buy that again ever since. Hmmph.

Hey wanna know something?
This is weird too. Today, my ear echoing all of the British accent in my head. I keep saying "don't"; "then"; "not clearly" and a lot of English words with a British accent. I dont know if that means I should reduce my craziness level to British accent, but I hope it means I will speak English with a british accent. Booyeeeaaah. That would be coool.
Okay then. My eyes. Hmmm. But my body just tired a little bit.BUt my eyes. I cant handle it. Well. just pray me for my dreams to be an adventurer. You know I have a lot of other dreams. A secret agent. Wizards. Historician and etc. Well. maybe am gonna share with you guys about each of my wildest dream. Like, I wanna be agirl version of Robert Langdon and Indiana Jones.

Well. Okay. Got to go sleep. 8:30am- 17 May 2011 right now.
My insomnia effect is fading. My friend, Lisa just called me and I'm literally shocked with my loud ringtone. That's stupid. Hahaha. And I almost forgot. I'm happy today too. Because I love the new name for my blog. Because it's basically what keep human going in life-- in my opinion. And I always try to hold on to that faith tightly :]]]]
And did you guys realize my blog header ? I made it by myself! :DDDD. It's cute, isnt it ?.
Ah well done, Dina. Well done :]

Goodmorning, guys. Have a good day.
Bonjour.................... :) takecare

Well, Today..

2011-05-11T10:37:00.000-07:00

again, mid-night post, with stomach screams and heart beats fast.. imissyou.

i think i'm cheesy you know, always writing about missing him, happy because of him, and blaaaah. everything... oh come on, i cant just run to him and yelling i miss you, okay? or texting i miss you, or stuff. and when am happy i cant just say to him, heeeeyyy i'm extremely happy today, because of you of course! ha, no -____- i cant do it, if i can do it, i wont be posting all of my feelings here, okay? please be understand my blog, beside, huh, who will read my blog, like whoooo ? okay, and am too lazy to write in diary because you know when my mood is not good and i have to write my feelings, it will ruin the book! i dont like ruining books with ugly handwriting. so yeah, i blog here. lalala what am i talking about ? -_____- actually am tired, but i dont wanna sleep, i have like a lot of things to think about, like, my american political system assignment for friday, i hope it will be okay if the quotation is not from american people, it's so difficult to search relevant quotation about presidential election. and also, well, i miss him. ashjkhjdkshkjashdjkhsjkhjka stop it. stop being cheesy and tacky. but i miss him, so what to do.
why do i easily miss people, i hate that, like you know, sometimes i feel like annoy them, errrgghh. i hope i didnt annoy people by missing them, especially him.

i dont know, i just miss him, okay, i just suddenly think about him, yes, after finishing my task, woah like what i post a week ago right ? nanananana, so hmmm.......... okay, today i have two rare events.

My jeans was ripped, right in the ass part. This is so random and rare. You know what's weird, i didnt even sit on a nail or stuff, it just ripped. Geez. Thanks god it happened when am about to go home, so yeaaaah, again, my jeans ripped, right in the ass part, my god.
I have this black thingy in my nose. what is this?! it looked like i hit my nose to the wall. seriously, my nose have a black spot, this is so random, okaaay.

now, what to say, again, oh yeah, i listened to Dashboard Confessional when i'm riding to college and home on repeat, that song is good you know, the drums, the voice of Chris Carraba, the melody, the high-low notes. it is an old song, the first time i listen to that song is when i was in the 2nd grade of junior high school i guess, my favorite part is when Chris sang, "i said, you must be mistaken, i'm not fooling this feeling is real" ;
"...all wrong, all wrong but you got me... i'll be true, i'll be useful, i'll be cavalier, i'll be yours my dear and i'll belong to you if you just let me through' ;
"so dont complicate by hesitating" ;
"this is tailor made what's the sense of waiting" ;
"i said i've gotta be honest ... i've been waiting for you all my life" ;
"i would crazy if you leave my side"

haha, yeah, that's a good song, i know people who loves that song too, like Aras and Fellin. we both charmed by that song. it is a really nice song. you know when i listened to that song i imagine the background of the situation in the song is like in a wheat field .... all is yellow, or a bit golden, and there's winds blowing and also a small pond in the corner, weird right, but i imagine it like that. what to say again, now, hmm oh yeah, i've done reading my introduction to globalization, actually, it is not my turn to do the journal, but every person have to read it, actually, it is a good article, i enjoy reading it. oh when i'm at SSI class, I look at my lecturer and i miss Pak Hirman, my history teacher, one of the person that make me keep fascinated by history by the way he teachs, i miss my history teachers :( like, i miss sitting in the class and listens to them explaining historical events, my elementary teacher, Pak Heri, my junior high teacher, Bu Isni, my senior high teacher, Pak Hirman. Ah i miss them, seriously miss them.

Okay, now what ? i miss you, miss you. let's think, what are you doing, i dont know hmmm at office,or at your room, doing journals, or what hmmmmmm. i miss you, i wonder how could you through all that busy stuff and doing journal, i dont know, you are a healthy person or not, i mean like, you could easily sick or not, well my limitation to force my body is about like hmm, a week mmhh, give it 10 days, after that, at least i have to take a break for 2 days, if i didnt get it maybe am gonna start having a cold, and it will worseeeee and worse and bam! thypus, well only almost usually, i already almost have a thypus for twice actually and the last one is thypus and my amandel what is amandel in english by the way? yeah, it was scrapped, it was horrible going to THT doctor. I always cry and shaking in THT doctor. I cried so loud in healthy test when i got in university for the first time, the doctor wants to abuse my ear, it hurts, and am still afraid of my childhood experience with my THT doctor that i ran away from her room. i hate THT doctor, they are scary. always hurting my ears, wtf they want, errgh. Okay, so, well, i hope you always take care and stay healthy okay, don't get sick, okay ? dont forget to eat, i know peoplel tends to forgot eating when they are being busy ,when i'm being or held an events, i always forgot to eat, or am hungry, but i just dont wanna wasting my time with eating, such a waste of time, so yeah dont copy me! hi you keep eating okay ? :)

well, guess, i just ruined my blog page talking non sense and not focus and weeeeeelllll whatever,
all i know is i miss you, mr. adorable, i miss you.
you know what, sometimes i feel like i'm tacky when i'm saying i miss you
but okay what is another words, nothing right? so yeah i miss you.
okay.

goodnight.
bonne nuit pour toi, monsieur, take care, have a proper and nice plus tight sleep.
:)

2011-05-02T02:06:00.000-07:00

"Take care and don't get sick "

This post is just a bit too late actually but oh well .....
Ok. At first I just really don't know what you are up to.
Until then when I went to Carrefour with my family Mas Agie text me and told me.
Wow. Haha. Cool! I literally jump knowing what you up to and success.
Yayy. You deserve it. Felicitations pour toi :)
Ok, Since you'll be freaking busier than ever,
Please take care and don't be sick. Okay, you hard-working monsieur ? :)

Notifications

2011-05-02T01:26:00.000-07:00

First of all, this post is for my sister. Ok darling I know you copy my blog post. Seriously ? -______- do not copy me. When we were kids you copy my diary and know you copy my blog post ? Get over it darling -______- ok, use your own words. i dont like you copying my words because i made that for only ONE person, it's what am feeling towards him so dont use it for your boyfriend. Please? Or. I'll change my url address then. One thing again, i dont want to talk this to you directly because then we could just easily got into a fight -_____- and plus again monsieur is for me calling the guy that I like, dont use it for your boyfriend -________- ok. please. prettyyy please sis? You could show your feelings better with your own words coming from your heart. Ok? If I find out you copy my words here again, am sure i'll change the url address. And yeah, we got in to a fight.

-your big sis-

2011-04-19T10:09:00.000-07:00

"Cacingan! Idung Besar!"
Monsieur Adorable

It's funny, how I always feels like my heart is too tight around this time.
Or around the time I'm finishing my task.
When I'm sigh. Relieve. Then suddenly I feel my chest is too tight.
My stomach screaming.
It's been like always what I feel when I got a notification of you.
Or after passing you. After you throw jokes at me. After saw you.
I miss you. I miss talking to you that I could cry.
This my chest felt too tight and screaming stomach must be about you.
And my head is just always suddenly running to the thoughts of you again.
I miss you. I miss us calling each other with tacky names.
Playing jokes.
I barely see you. Barely talk to you. Where are you? Ou est tu ?
I just want to have a playful conversation like we used to have.
Maybe you're just busy. Maybe the universe just didnt want make a conspirations with me.
I miss you.

Silently, I hope this sudden heartbeat means that you think about me too.
I hope so.
I miss you, boy, i miss you around.
Mr. Adorable :((

7th Weeks of Second Semester

2011-04-19T09:40:00.000-07:00

I'm starting to fed up with my tasks. The 7th weeks seems getting on my nerves.
Not only my nerves. My friends nerves too. I even want to not collect my journals.
Gah. I'm too lazy to read the articles and all of those stuffs.

This is what they called 'bored point'.

This boring feeling is just errrggghh. I never been feeling need a so much refreshment in my brain just because a 2 months activities. It's only 2 months! Sometimes I felt like I want to pull out my brain.

One more bummer. I'm only in the second semester. What will happened to me when I got into the fourth semester.? I just really hope I dont need a mental rehabilition. Amen

2011-04-05T05:18:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday, you, Monsieur!!

Hi, First of all, I actually I have wanted to post this post at 00.00 April 5th. But, suddenly my internet connections fucked up, so I got the chances to post this just now.

Allo birthday boy, happy birthday! Although you think its un-necessary for you to celebrating a birthday. I will still keep on saying happy birthday to you! Haha. Hey, have a great day! This is your day. Even me, being excited that this is your birthday haha it's not even my birthday! Hey you monsieur, I hope you will be smarter, be your parent's golden boy, be your brother's and sister's best brothers, i hope you could achieve anything you want this year.I hope you have a great year ahead, Monsieur :)

Smile, monsieur, it looks good on you :) happy birthday & enjoy your day :D

2011-03-28T15:00:00.000-07:00

"Cross your fingers. Hope for the best. Expect less. Prepare for the worst."
Dina Hadfina M

I wanna cry, I don't know why
I feel like everything is turning so bad right now.
Everything is turning to the worst side.
Please, God, help me :(
I cant do a thing. I even dont know how to describe the situation.
The possibilities. The chances. The feelings.
God, I'm holding on........... :'(

Another Post About College ..........

2011-03-16T17:17:00.000-07:00

Hi. So.... it's Thursday already. My god. I just hate that this semester seems so fast.
It means all the exam is coming fast too. Geez. Almost two weeks of college and I feel like it's just about a couple days.

2011-03-13T05:16:00.000-07:00

"Who you are is falling over me. Who you are is got me on my knees. I'm hoping, I'm praying, you are the one. If you are, I will wait, I will follow, I'm here to stay."
Demi Lovato

Hi. Mr. Adorable.
I just want you to know that this feeling is unbearable
This feelings gets stronger everyday.
Keep on shining,
You are basically the sun beam of my day.
Thankyou, for your existence :)

First Week of Second Semester

2011-03-13T04:59:00.000-07:00

Hi. Greetings from tired college kids.
So, how about my first week in this semester ? Actually .... this week just passed by so fast, i feel it that way, like the schedule is so tight. I don't know, maybe this is just shock feeling after 2 months doing nothing and suddenly... BOOM. You have about 4 journals to do every week.

I have done my International Relations Theory and Indonesia Strategic Study journals. I have one journal left, America Politic System. I haven't got my turn to do Introduction to Globalization journal yet.

I've done my International Relations Theory yesterday at 3 am and Indonesia Strategic Study this morning at 8 am with being not tired at all. I really am not sleepy or tired when I did that Indonesia Strategic Study journal. But now I'm just really tired, that my back hurts. -____- and plus, i have morning class at 7am tomorrow.

I really feel like a college kids already

IMPORTANT!

2011-03-06T07:55:00.000-08:00

First of all, this post is all BAD NEWS.

1. My friend, titin, got a motor accident. she got her ankle broken. My geez.
2. My first class tomorrow changed into 7 am !!!!!!! No effing way!!!!!! Argh. And I havent sleep right now. See ?????
3. He's not coming to college tomorrow.

Let me say, tonight is just one of those what the asjkdhsjkfhksdglkjla night.

K. Bye. College. Tomorrow :((((((

A Little Message From Me

2011-03-06T05:05:00.000-08:00

Dear Mr. Adorable,

Hi. I'm suddenly miss you. I always notice how your tweets appeared in my twitter timeline today.
I seriously read it. This missing 'attack' suddenly coming to me just now. I even still have this attack while writing this. Hey, actually, i kinda sad knowing that you wont be in college tomorrow :( i miss you, uh i don't know, it's just this, my heart just suddenly beating so fast that actually i am myself a little bit surprised, why is this. You know, Tasha once said that if you miss someone so much, that person will feel it, usually. I don't know, can i have this little hope that this can be you, miss me ? I'm sad. I'm sad missing you. It's been about 4 days since the last we tweet each other, right ?

Sincerely,

the girl who falling over you.

Holiday Flashbacks

2011-03-04T20:16:00.000-08:00

Hi. As I promised, I'll post what I've been doing for almost two months of holiday, rightt ? Well, you know, I've been all talking that I will not have even one day of useless, doing-nothing - kind of day, but hey, it's almost 60 days of holiday, sure as hell I have those doing-nothing and dead bored kind of day. But, I do my best, to avoid that, and now it's Saturday already and in Monday, I'll back to college life. The busy and tired kind of life. So yeah, let's flashback ;)

First Week of Holidays.

Friday, 21st January - Completely doing nothing. But not at my own house. At Lisa's house. Just talking all day long. With Tasha too. Hahaha. Hilarious. Talking about how children being all cocky nowadays. My god. What this world has turned into ?

Saturday, 22nd January - Attending this music concert in my college. A tribute : Last Nite With The Strokes. Actually .................... i never heard any of The Strokes's song. Don't get me wrong, I didn't attend the shows just for being called as 'cool kids'. NO. Actually, I'm interested to attend the show because first, the posters looked so damn cool. Second, i have a feeling that the music is not bad. Definitely not that kind of metal band. F yeah. But that actually proved right. Although it's didn't have a lot of people at the show, but I just love the setting of the place. Using a minimal light, making shadows of the band player at the wall behind them. Not a lot of people. Unique people actually :) and the music is actually good, too bad the quality of the sound system is bad. Such a bummer.
Wednesday, 23rd January - Whoa. It was cool, reading a 700+pages of books in a just one day. It didn't make me dizzyyy, cool books, didn't do that to their readers. You know what I read ? The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown. I feel like for a whole day I've been around the New York City, in Capitol Hill building. I even feel like I saw every detail of the ornaments in buildings right in front of my eyes. When Dan brown said 'shiny' i was like blinking my eyes, felt like whatever it is that i have i imagine with my eyes is reallly reallllyy shiny. Hell of a good book. I finished the book after 11 hours of reading. BOO to the YEAH! Psh, after that I continue reading all 7 books of The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S Lewis. But I cant remember when I finished the Narnia, I guess it took 2 days for me to finish it.

Second Week of Holiday

Monday, 24th January - Went to high school with buuuncccchhhhhh of my social mateeesssss. F yeah! I do really think we were all so happy. At first we met 'The Mom and Daddy of Social Class' Mrs. Kis and Mr. Hirman. We sit around at the Social Laboratory like we used to when we planned The Social Research one year ago. Such a memories :). Then, we all went to canteen, eat our favorite high-school foods and of course! the legendary ice tea, hahahaha. And the boys smoking and playing Poker like they all used to. At 4pm, the girls watch the boys playing soccer in rains like we allll usedddd too dooo. The girls sit on the floor in front of the social class and laying around talking like we all used to do. I love my high-school days. Social mates. And all the rude jokes between us. Love you guys. I really do <3 style="text-align: center;">

Mimi : Wok, (to Brewok) he's with that girl ? Ew, nasty. She had no boobs.
The boys : Ha! Like you have one, Mi!!!
All : HAHAHAHAHAHA.

Thursday, 27th January -Bitches reunion. Yessss. my bitches is my favorite girls in the whole world. Whole universe, to be honest. Sasa, mimi, kakag, nadh, julek, ayas, via, utik, titin. My favorite girls. Ever. We went to Sutos for dinner and karaoke. HAHAHA. the fun stuff always happened in the karaoke booth. We are all acting like we are in concert. Psh, bitches, it's all because all of us is artist okaaaaayyyy. Hahahaha. From the heart breaking songs until dangdut songs. We definitely killed them all. Superb niggghhttt. End then, we went to Bungkul Park, not sure what we did there. We just eat kerupuk and then go home. Randomly stupid. HAHAHA.

Third Week of Holiday.

Tuesday, 1st Febuary - Decide to went all alone to ITC. Really need to make up my mind. Something just bothered my mind in 28th January, I guess. That's why I'm starting to be all gloommyyy. Hmm. Buying DVDs. And Azalea went back to Jakarta this day too. I went home with being all wet because of the rain :(( not a good day.

Wednesday, 2nd February - Went to Grand City with Mas Agie and Lisa. we decide to go there after the BEM Ceremony. That non-sense ceremony -__-. Karaoke-ing again. And sushi-ing. Still need to made up my mind. This is one of those gloomy days. Haha. Sucks. And I went home waiting for the rain to stop at 9pm. God. I'm freezing in my way home.

Fourth Week of Holiday

Monday, 7th February - I can't pay my tuition fee!!!! I have to go around Campus B and C to get it right. Geez.

Tuesday, 8th February - YESSSSS.No more gloomy. Thanks to you, Mr Adorable :)

Wednesday, 9th February - Meet up with Introduction to Political Science's lecturer to fix my score, just like what I've posted before. Myyy god, that was hard. And I always went to college at 8am since then, so I can ask him everyday to fix my score. It worksss ...:))

Friday, 11th February - I miss him. But i just really cant show it, but i really want him to know that i miss him. I'm afraid I'm crossing the line, being all too much saying missing. Oh dear Mr. Adorable.

Fifth Week of Holidays

Monday, 14th February - HAHAHAHHA. FIRST. NOOOO VALENTINE'S DAY. I'm just being allll excited at Kezia's house, watching The Grammy Award. Oh yeaaah. Then went to campus, still trying to meet up with the lecturer. Went to Sophomore. Actually, the real name is Warung Sopo Ngiro. HAHA. But my high school friends named it into Sophomore B). Sate kulit is the best. I ate two portion. I remember the two guys who also ate there giving me the wtf look when they heard ne asking for second portion. LOL. After that we went to McD to order ice cream cone. Yummmmy!

Thursday, 17th February - I cant logged in to my college website!!!!! It says, I haven't finished my registration. Therefore, i can't processing my study card. When I went to academic department, they're all being sucks. I'm so effing angry that i started to bitching around twitter. But, uh, I've forgive them though.

Friday, 18th February - Done with college stuffs. Went to Grand City, to eat sushi, and doing nothing until 7pm but just talking with Nahdia in Grand City's food court. I love going to Grand City to do nothing. I love the view from the food court. There's a big window showing the view of the city, with the tables right in front of the windows. Fast wi-fi. My favorite cheap sushi. And it's still quiet. Not a lot of people went to Grand City. Perfect place to spending time. Just to online, talking or just read a book :)

Saturday, 19th February - BEST DAY EVERRRR. Butterflies moment at 2am.

Sixth Week of Holiday

Monday, 21st February - I hang out with my old bestie since junior high school, Nunna. We went to eat doughnuts for I've been craving for it for centuries. Haha. And then, for return, I accompany her to eat sushi at Hachi- Hachi. I didn't eat it, for I've full from doughnuts, but I eat just one sushi, and I thought ...... Suteki is wayy better than Hachi-Hachi. Enough said.

Thursday, 24th February - I'm soo hungry it feels like I want to eat everything that I can't stop to eat, so I went to market and bought life-saver tools. lol. I guess all those craving craziness is because of PMS. hey, wait I haven't got my period till now :o

Tuesday, 1st March - Haha. This day is so effffinggg hilarious. my God. My ex, yes my ex from my failed relationship from 1 year ago adding me to his BBM contact. Ha. Brave enough after broke up with your girl ? that girl who you cheated on me and you dated for this whole year ? Haha yeah.... right. No anger, I've forgive him. But yeah...just... ha ha ... seriously ? Sorry, I've moved on, and I like another person just in case you wonder.

Saturday, 5th March - Hanging out with my 3 most favorite girls in the world, kakag, nadh and titin. Haha. I was very excited waiting for this day! Sure as hell we can talk about anything we want. We went and took pictures together.... still, titin is the one who gets to bullied. ;p HAHAHA. and the most hilarious moment is when we realized kakag and titin wearing the same outfit!!!!!! and kakag was all like, "I DON'T WANNA BE A TWIN WITH TITIN!!!!" LOLOL. And pshhh me and nadh got the best dinner ever, baby octopus butter corn. Yummyyy!

Sunday, 6th March - Today :) . First of all, Happy Birthdayy Mommmyyy! Love ya! :* :* . Second, I got a stalker today -_- Me, My mommy and mommy's friend went to Royal Plaza for hang out, while all the mommy's keep talking, I decide to walk around the mall by myself, it's not a big deal for me, I've did it for sooo many times. Actually, i love walking around malls by myself, I dont know why, but it just succesfully making me ignore the universe, i dont even care when people giving me the 'why you are all alone walking around mall' face. i just really don't care. So, I went to Ace Hardware, and saw a lot of home tools. I love going to the place like that, make me imagine about my own home. I was looking for lamps when suddenly a guy said to me.

Stranger : Hmm. Hey. Umm soorrryy.
Me : Ha ? *confused face*
Stranger : I was following you around this whole time...
Me : Ha? *voice inside my head* i didnt even know you were following me
Stranger : That's because, uhm, you looked alike with my ex
Me : *giving all shocked face* *voice inside my head* what the ashdjhhakjf

Then, I continued walking around the shop watching all the wall decorator and stuffs and that stranger keeps following me. Wtf. I started to freaked out and decided to heading back to the restaurant where my mommy is. Man, he keeps following me until it's close to the restaurant -___- it was the most buntu moment for my whole life -__________- seriously. i didnt even realized he was following me around, and usually i wear my headphones, so the people will back off trying to talk with me. But I left my headphones at home today. Geez. He's better not telling me he was following me around because when he said that, I started to freaked out D; .This is not good. I have to downgrade my ignoring the universe level when I'm walking around alone now. So, I'll know if the creepy stuffs will happened to me.

Anywayyy. This is the end of the holiday flashbacks posts. College tomorrow!!!!! Thanks god, my first class at 10 am. Ugh. Goodbye for tumblr-ing. Blogging. Tweeting in very late night. I will still wide awake in the late night, but I wont be able to tumblr-ing or even blogging. and tweeting! Because I will do all my college tasks. Geez. 4 journals each weeks. Damn. Whatever it is,

Game on, second semester ;)

2011-02-26T21:32:00.000-08:00

"I'm thinking about my feelings to you. A lot.But every time I'm hesitating, my heart just suddenly skip a beat then beating up faster. Heartbeats never lie. And by that i know that my feelings to you is real. This is real."

Dina Hadfina M

Actually, i haven't been online for 3 days
Still, I want to know about you, by your tweets.
But I just got bored tweeting. So i take a break.
Today i came online with my laptop and i peeping on your timeline.
Just your name popping on my laptop screen can make my heart skip a beat.
Hahaha. So don't you ever think that I'm forgetting about you this 3 days.
My heads seems so, the thoughts of you just popping in my head some times.
But the fact is my heart didn't forget about you.
I didn't know about that, i just found out that heart can do that.

P.S I hope your daddy will be better soon. I'll pray for him :)

I'm A T-Shirt & Jeans Girl. (no make-up too!)

2011-02-26T20:02:00.000-08:00

So, last week, I hang out with my best friend from the junior high days. She's always being so 'girly'.
Ahahaha, i describe 'girly' here as using a well dressed outfit & make up. It doesn't mean I'm wearing a bad, dirty outfit with holes everywhere... NO.

What I said about well dressed outfit is yeah uhh you know all the outfit just like in fashion magazine and stuffs, not that wow-fashionable like in magazine wearing boots, hotpants and stuffs tho but still, ughhh, how should i explain it ? -______- ah, i know, maybe i should say that she's the kind of girl who's not wearing t-shirts and jeans only when hang out. While in the other side of the world................................ me, I'm a lover of t-shirt and jeans and flat-shoes or sneakers. I wear all of those everyyyywherrrreee. It's so oh-comfortable. Moreover, my college allow the students to wear t-shirts. And i really HATE wearing shirt. I'm a t-shirt and jeans girl. Everytime I saw girls wearing those fashionable stuffs, i want to use it, i even have the outfit. But I just really cant stand wearing those 'ribet' stuffs. I'm too lazy to wear it. So.. tadaaaaa. I use my outfit just when I don't have laziness sticking on me.

Make-up. My friend wear make-up everywhere. Lipgloss. Eyeliner. Face-powder when she just hang out or going to college. Me? I DIDN'T EVEN WEAR A SIMPLE FACE-POWDER. Hahaha. What's the point of wear it if i will wash my face when i'm about to pray ? I'm too lazy to put it on again. Dont get me wrong. I can use and put on those cosmetics in my face but then again..... I'm too lazy.

Maybe it's not about being simple girl anymore, maybe i'm just a lazy girl. Hehe.

7 Things in My Mind Right Now

2011-02-26T19:34:00.000-08:00

Do you miss me ? okay, maybe missing is too much, do you at least asking why i didn't came on your timeline ?
Should I take a bath now ?
Should I upload my pictures now ?
Should I eat now ? I'm not hungry but i dont mind to eat.
Why my looklet account always screwed up?
I really need to download new songs.
After this post, what should I post ?

2011-02-19T10:34:00.000-08:00

"Nothing feels better than knowing someone cares about how your day went at the end of the day. And nothing feels worse when no one does."
Cassandra Niki - @casseybunn

and you did it to me yesterday. and you should know
i do always care about how your day going.
just like what i always tweet in my goodnight tweet.
if i didn't tweet it. believe me, i do it in my thoughts.

Greetings From Holiday!

2011-02-19T06:25:00.000-08:00

Hey. Hi. Holla. Allo!

So.. greetings from holiday! What's up with me? What happened with me?
What am I doing this holiday? Ahhhhh so much stuffs happened during this holiday. I promise I'll tell you everything about my activities during holiday......... 3 days before the college starts. Promise ! :)

Meannnnwhilllleeee, so far, I wanna thank God for this stuffs to God :

My Introduction to Politic Science's lecturer being so nice to change my score from E into B, it needs a lot of sacrifices though like everyday woke up at 7 and went to college at 8 doing nothing but sitting in front of Politic Department Office waiting for him to came up because he refuse to be contacted by text and phone -_____- and when he finally showed up he'll be like all not paying attention to what i said. Ugh. I even judge him, rude. It happened for 3 days. Oh God. But when I took my Report Card, I'm surprised that it changed into B. :D

My GPA reached 3!!!!!!!!!! Well, if you comparing my result to my friends's it's not high. But well. I'm just expecting 3.00 . I dont know, maybe because i know the Politic and Sociology test is always fucked up and I skip 1 question in my Introduction to International Relations final test because I'm being careless and didn't read it. Stupid much? Yes it is. So. It such a big time when I found out I reach a GPA with 3 as the first number. BOOYEAH!

I have a sweet conversation all of sudden, with him. :)) :)) :)) :)) Haha. Well, in my point of view it's sweet and such a butterflies moment in my tummy at 2 am. I wasn't expecting him to replying my tweets saying 'bonne nuit.' when i put my gratitude tweet and goodnight like I always do. It's huge for me because he said goodnite and like asking how's my day. Oh my God. You already steal my heart boy. I'm tripped and falling on you. You are the best that i could ever wish. Monsieur Adorable :)

God is good. Merci mon dieu :)

SIGH.

2011-02-08T14:06:00.000-08:00

Hi.
Uhm. So... I'm in sorrow now.
The score finally revealed and my score isnt too bad. But, my Introduction to International Relation score is BC
which is...... uh, i thought i will reach B. I know I made some mistake when I do my final test,
I didnt read the question completely which made me not even answered it.... ugh, my bad.

But, the most annoying thing is my Introduction to Politic Science, i got an E!!!!!! Wtfffff..
You know how wrong is that right? God. This is because the lecturer didnt include my mid-test score.
I dont know why, but I guess this is because I forgot to sign the absent paper back in the mid-test day ...

I'm going to meet the lecturer today. Oh God. Help me. Helpppppp me!
I hope the lecturer will be kind enough to fix the score by including the mid-test score.
Pray for me, okay ? Will you ? Please ?
Because if the lecturer wont do it, my GPA wont even reach 3.00 :(

Holiday, Just a Little Bit Morreee

2011-01-19T07:55:00.000-08:00

Hi. Kso, My last exam will be held tomorrow. And I wish it will be a take-home test. AMEN! After that....... HOLIDAAAAYYYY !!!!

I reaaallllyy hope my holiday wont be meaningless. Dang. Dear God, help me to really have a quality time in my holiday weeks. You know what I really want this holiday ?

Swimming. Barefoot-ly playing at beach. Watching concert till late at nite. Spending time with laptop on cozy coffee-shop. Dvd marathon from the second I woke up till I'm falling asleep at night. Good food searching. Read an awesome book that I wont be notice how many hours I've spent just by read it till finish. I wanna buy a pair of shoes and lots of skirt. Hanging out with Mr. Adorable.

Haha. The last one is like a mission to me. Oh! Mission impossible actually. Like, who's gonna ask him ? Hahaha -______- besides, I think he'll back to his hometown this holiday. Well, this is what I hate from holiday. You dont get to see the person you like in holiday. That's sucks. I dont want to be like really hanging out with him just two of us. Because it's imposibble you know ?! It"s more like I want to be still able to see him in holidays, and talk with him. Uh. like maybe college have some events and he came and we can meet! Tadaaaaaa!

Well, those list I've been wrote above could sink if I could going to another town...

Anyways. I'm in a good mood today.
Yeah, because of Mr. Adorable too.
He was like replying my tweet.
Hehe.
I know I'm kinda stupid, and cheessy, tacky for being like that. Oh yeah, you can say childish too.
Hey, so what?
I'm falling for him :)

Monday Morning Thoughts

2011-01-16T16:47:00.002-08:00

Dear God.

Dear universe.

I dont know what mood I’m in right now. I got test today. Brrfff. Sucks. Yeah, instead of settling my ass to the computer I know I should be dating with my sociology text book right now. But, I’m bored. Who doesn’t get bored on studying ?

I feel like I’m complaining about stufffsssss. But I’m too lazy to complaining too. Because my good side of my brain like always starting to said ‘Hey, be thankfulll, bitch!’ to me everytime my head starts to complaining. Duh.

So. Honesty hour. I’m wondering why he’s not coming online much. Like, errrr where on earth is he?!?! Haha. I know this is l a m e butttt, how else I could know if he’s not updating his status ? I’m not in contact with him by texting. –rolls eyes- . The last time he commented on my status updates is like ... err, 3 days ago ? on Friday. After I did my Philosopy test. Well, he’s online. But just updating 1 status in this past 2 days. Where are you and what are you doinggg Mr. Adorable.

My friend said that maybe he’s kinda busy or having something in his mind. Well, maybe ... I hope it’s right. Dear God, if he’s really having something in his mind or just being busy, please ease everything for him. Pleeeassseee ?

I mean like, you know, he could easily light up my day. Just by simple thing he did. Like replying my status when I woke up in the morning. Suddenly. Or just replying in a very late night. So, when he disappear like this kinda sucks for me.

Oh! And have I mentioning that I kinda miss he called my name with that smiley face and happy voice and excited tones ? Like what he did around the basketball game? He’d be all “DINA!!!!” And it just successfully sent me to another planet. HAHAHA. LOL. Kidding. But I ‘m seriously got a big smile on my face after he did it. Like... this --> :D

Now it’s time for my wise side of brain to talk. Hey, I should be thankful, you know. Remembering the old days when my life was such a meaningless life. Hahaha. I should be thankful. I should be thankful for the feeling of missing someone, for having someone to think about when I woke up. :)

I dont know. But maybe today will go like the past 3 days. Maybe I didnt even get to see him today. I don’t know. Maybe I would end this day like the past 3 days. Wondering and wondering. Man, I’m starting to be sad right now. :(

Dear universe. Please conspire with me today ? I want a huge smile from him to me. Or just a simply happy voice of him when he greet me. Did I ask too much ? :( Please ?

I Wanna See You

2011-01-11T11:15:00.000-08:00

I miss you.

I know. I know. I'm no one for him. I mean, I have no right to miss him.

But, it just ... it's been more than a week.
I miss him.
Like, I just wanna see him.

Just, as simple as that.

He's around at college yesterday.
Maybe he saw me.
But I didnt.
Because I was looking at different place.

Geez.
I want to crawl under my bed now.

I hate college-off-week.

Last Year ? This Year !

2011-01-06T07:45:00.000-08:00

2010:

JANUARY

Starting with not-being so excited. It was like the other day. Still broken-hearted. Even it's already 4 months. I cant remember, is it true that I have a fight with this little girl in this month ? Oh-sucks.

FEBRUARY-MARCH
Starting to put attention on Hollywood celeb. Struggling with the course, try-outs. Wondering about my future. STATE'S FINAL TEST. Gadjah Mada University Entrace tests. Still, broken-hearted, crying when there's a super sad song playing.

APRIL
Still fighting with the course. Trying to reach my dreams, University of Indonesia. SIMAK-UI tests. Non-stop 5 hours of intensive study. GOT ACCEPTED AT UGM. MAJORING THE HISTORICAL STUDIES. BOOYEAH.

MAY
I'm definitely have no life. Since I'm tired being sad and broken heart-ed, I put my life talking about Hollywood celeb life. Addicted to Miley, Demi, Jonas Brothers, Taylor Swift, Selena Gomez. Making a fan base twitter account. Having a close friend from the other country :).
Oh, I cried because my parents insisted me to take the Airlangga University test. I really dont want to go there. I really want to live in another city! (it was tho). So, I took the test with zero-capacity-of-brain-to-think.

JUNE
I GOT ACCEPTED IN UNIVERSITY OF INDONESIA, MAJORING THE HISTORICAL STUDIES AND ALSO IN AIRLANGGA UNIVERSITY MAJORING THE INTERNATIONAL RELATIONS. This. Put. Me. In. Dilema. It's been my dreams to wear the "Yellow Jacket" of University of Indonesia, the most pretigious university in Indonesia, also I have reasons why I want to leave this city, yeah, this city broke my heart (Ha! Eew). And it's been my wildest dream to be a historian. Being like Indiana Jones? Ah. Cool. What a dreamy, full of passion of life.
But it's been my - from - long - time - ago - dreams to studying the International Relations. Since I was in a junior high, if people ask me what major I will take in college, I will answer it : International Relations.
But, destiny brought me to here. stay in this city.
I was so broken-hearted. i hate this university. It's stupid. I hate everything about this university. The people sucks. The building sucks. Most of all, the city.. SUCKS.

JULY
I'M SERIOUSLY HAD NO LIFE! Dvds-Twitter-BBM-Eat-Sleep-Dvds-Twitter-BBM.
Still creeping on celebs life. Gezz. My life was meaningless. Once in a while still shed-ing a tear for ex. GEEZ!!!!!

AUGUST
Fasting months. College orientation week. Another stupid tradition. But I'm definitely IN LOVE with my new friends. With my department. I still hate the university and stuffs. But, not with the department and new friends. They're like cool. No being shy or stuffs. Hello, college life!
Oh-yeah. Being surprised too that it's been a year since I broke up with him.
HA? A YEAR? Are you kidding me?!
A Year Without Rain? lol.

SEPTEMBER
IR-FEST. IR-FEST. IR-FEST. Busy. Busy. Busy. And mom got sick and stayed in hospital for 2 weeks. Ergh. It sucks. I need to adapting with the life of college students and have to take-care of my mom. And the IR-FEST stuffs. OH GEE.

OCTOBER
Mom is sick, again. It's depressing, you know. And... I have a crush on my senior. I just thought that it was just admiring him and stuffs. Not really paying attention.
Oh! And CAMP ! Still the part of IR-FEST. It's cool. Really cool.
Lalala. At the end of month, I realize I'm really falling for this guy, the same senior.
Oh, boy :)

NOVEMBER
WELCOME PARTY FOR THE 2010 KIDS! masquerade party.
I fall hard on him. Seriously.
He's the cure to my wound without he even know about that.
He didnt know that he gives colours, to my life.
He gives beats to my dead-heart.
Mr. Adorable :3

DECEMBER
Finding about truth behind everything, in my college. Decided that I can trust this people : Lisa, Tasha, Kezia, Bimo. Getting addicted to UNO cards games. College life become easier. No. I dont mean the subject. You know, the people. Being crazy. Laugh. And depressed together with my new best friends. I love staying in college. Since, I do nothing at home.
Mr. Adorable ?
I keep falling and falling deeper into him. He is such adorable. The way he talk to me.
The way he called me with tacky-names. Or, just my name, with those happy-tone :)
Hey, Mr. Adorable. Do you have a band-aid ? Because I scrapped my knees falling for you ;))

2011

I realize that the last 3 months in 201o healed me. I'm healing. I have band-aids now. I have faith. I have things to hold on. I got my lesson learned. I left my past. I'm having faith re-charged. I have paint, to color my life. Dont ever look back.

I t ' s g o n n a b e m y y e a r

Cheers for the new faith, bitches :)

Happy New Year !

2011-01-06T05:01:00.000-08:00

*cough* I know it's already *cough* 5th January but still,

HAPPY NEW YEAR YOU BITCHESSSS ;)

Haha. Happy new year. Happy new hope. Happy new faith !
It sounds cliche, I know. But I really can feel it in my vein, in my heart, in my head.
I dont know, but I just feel excited with the new year, this time. I never care with new year. I used to think that new year is just bunch of nice movies in television and plus.. holiday. The pasts new year I used to either sleep or having movie marathon.

But this year, I got excited! I really really want to celebrate the new year!
I went to FoodFest. Spending the night with my closest friends. Having laughs. Jokes. Nothing special. Because, we're always like that from high-school days. we just love sitting and joking and playing some boring games or just talks, talks and talks.

I spent my night with : Azalea, Kakag, Nahdia, Titin, Bayu, Fabi, Mila (Fabi's girlfriend), Utya, and plus Bimo. Haha. Bimo is the only one which is not my high-school friend. He's my college friend. He came because he got a mission. Hahahaha!

It was so nice. That night such an ordinary night, but it feels comfortable. Seriously.
When the clock pointing at 12.00. We're like hugging each other :) Ah. it was so comfortable. Just, I do seriously think that it was the most comfortable night ever in the past one year. We hug each other while saying "Happy new year!!!!".Gosh. Best feeling ever.

And after watching the fireworks for almost 1 hour, we want to play it by ourselves. So, we bought and play for about 45 minutes. We're all arrived in my house at 2 am. BOOYEAH :}
No Bimo of course. He just not cool. Haha. I hope he never found out this blog. Amen. And Fabi's girlfriend too. So, it's Azalea, Utya, Kakag, Nahdia, Titin, Bayu and fabi left.

We order McD and keep joking. Laughing until 4 am. Haha. Not really laughing because we tried so hard to hold back our laugh from the lame joke we told since my parents already asleep. Best night ever :)

At 4am, Azalea, Utya, Bayu and fabi decided to go home, while Nahdia, Titin and Kakag sleepover with me. We're already in bedroom but we still joking until 5 am! Haha. Then we insist ourselves to sleep and woke up at 10 am.

It was the best night ever.

That's why I have a feeling that this year is gonna be amazing. I have faith restarted.

I'm gonna quoting Nick Jonas's quote in 2010 which will be my quote to start this 2011.

"This is the year of no fear."

Yeah. Game on, 2011! :)

It's Moments Like This

2010-12-28T12:07:00.000-08:00

Don't you just love it ?
Don't you just feel excited?
Don't you just simply feel happy ?

I didn't get to see you in 3 days. Or in a contact with you. Yeah, I know, by twitter. Lame uh ?
And I already feel so gloomy. Insecure thoughts starts to crawling inside my head.

And there you are, just suddenly simply standing there. Greet me. For just a couple seconds.
But, he didn't even know, that couple seconds just simply erase all those insecure feeling.
It simply lights up my day <3

Oh, don't you ever realize that you got the ability to be the highlight of my day easily ? :)

I fell asleep when I got home and got dinner.
Before I fell asleep I'm thinking how I need to see you.
I need to at least talk to you.
I need something to show me that you notice me.
I miss you.

Oh. yeah. I know that sounds awfully cheesy -.-

And I fell asleep. I dreamed about you.
You, talk to me.
Geez. I didnt even know that I think about it that much :O

And I woke up.
Realizing it's still 1am. Seriously?! 1 am? I used to start sleeping at 2 am! It's gonna be a long night boy -_____-

Then, yeah. I woke up. Tweeting.
I saw your tweets appeared on my timeline.
I didn't expect you to comment my tweet tho. Um, yeah to be honest, I expect... a bit ?
And....

BAM!
You started to joking on my tweet.
Made me smile. And blush :$

I love this moment.
I fell asleep thinking about you. I dreamed about you.
I woke up. You tweet me. :)

Um. Tell me if you think about me too, Mr. Adorable.
Tell me if you miss me too.
Tell me, and I'd be the happiest girl alive :)

You're The Highlight Of My Day

2010-12-23T09:13:00.000-08:00

Terimakasih Allah :)
Terimakasih :)
Terimakasih.
I cant stop thanking to You.

I really didn't expect him to greet me this afternoon.
I thought I'll just ended up being tired but not being tired to wondering about what you feel for me in the night.
But, it just happened in a flash.

BAM!

Those happy-tone when you talked to me... I've missed that lately. :)

And, in the middle of the night,
When I start to think about you again.
I wrote silly status.

BAM.

You just making jokes from it.

God. Thankyou. Thankyou. Thankyou.
This is amazing. Thankyou..
I'll never be thankful enough..
Still, thankyou God.

Boy, you are the highlight of my day.
I like you. So much.

Ababil

2010-12-22T07:57:00.000-08:00

Sungguh ingin numpahin unek-unek disini.
Banget. Nggak bohong.

Lagi labil.

Ketakutan yang nggak beralasan,
Berusaha forcing pikiran untuk selalu positif.

Ingin mengeluh.
Berusaha mencari sisi terang.

Ingin berhenti.
NGGAK MAU BERHENTI SUMPAH.

Wanna let loose.
But I've gone wayy too far, too hard, to be standing in this point.

ababil kan ? ._.

Oh Falling For You

2010-12-19T07:23:00.000-08:00

hey, i wrote this. because i think too much lately.
and... i need to chill out. to let go the worries. the fear.
by remembering why i let my self falling in to you, not even trying to deny it.

"i was a flight risk, with a fear of falling" - but for you i let go my fear. i decide to fall for you. because i know you're worth the risk. you're worth to fall for. you're worth the effort. you're worth to think about. you're worth every single blush in my cheek. you're worth it.

because you gives me feelings that i adore. you made me feel more alive than ever. you made my heart racing. you got me laughing while i sing. you got me smiling in my sleep. you got my heart skip a beat.

i know this is cheesy. but hush, shut up. i dont want my heart to explode.

Have You Ever

2010-12-09T09:08:00.000-08:00

Have you ever like someone so much that you can barely breathe?
Have you ever like someone so bad that when your days got annoying you just need to catch a glimpse of him and ta-daaa!!! it's a bright day ?
Have you ever like someone that staring at your own home screen image which is your photo with him can make you wanna jump into the sky ? (yeah even though take the photo as friend and secretly dying to make a couple photo with him)
Have you ever missing someone so much that you're wanting to hear his voice so damn much ? --again, even though he's not even yours, yet
Have you ever dying to hear him calling you with a such a tacky name that you will go mad if anyone called you with that but instead of mad you go blushing because he's the one who called you ?

Oh, mon dieu. Oh, monsieur du adorable, please be mine?
God, i'm really falling for him.

It's a love story baby just say yes

That Serious Face.

2010-11-25T12:56:00.000-08:00

i gotta admit that i might be being cheesy posting this.
haha but hey, it's my blog. dont like it ? well close the page :)

soo, yeah, again. Mr. Adorable :)
That 24th November is amazing. Hahaha.
You know, it's not a big thing. But you know, for me it's amazing :3

So, I was in my college, got nothing to do, just walking around when me and my friend saw him sitting alone while reading some paper, idk, it might be a task. he was so serious.
and my friend is like, lets sit there. and i was like.. no ! are you kidding me? no way. i would be nervous and stuff and acting silly. errrgghhh >:s but my friend keep insisting , so yeah , i follow her and we are sitting there beside him.

and it was so cute. I was sooo happppyyy talking with him,though it's just joking around and really it's made me so nervous. i love how you just pointing out about our silly comment in facebook and you laughed :) :)

and then, what a pity, i was so nervous i can't think what kind of subject that i should to talk about with you and i just keep sneak peek on you while you go back to your paper.
damn, that serious face.
i was so speechless. your face is priceless.
like you are creating your own world while you are reading.
i really love your serious face, but yeah, of course i love your face when you're laughing with me more :)

haha, i was staring at you a bit too long that day, once. haha. lucky you didnt know.
and you know, i got thousand of butterflies in my tummy that day, and my heart is racing.

i like you. i do really like you. for who you are. not for your appearance. but for you are. for being you. it simply amazed me without you even try. please be mine ? <3

you keep me fascinated.

We'll Look Cute Together

2010-11-21T07:41:00.000-08:00

APRIL = SEXY

Suave and compromising.. Funny and humorous. Stubborn. Very talkative. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal. Does work well with others. Very confident. Sensitive.. Positive Attitude. Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Able to cheer everyone up and/or make them laugh. Able to motivate oneself and others. Understanding. Fun to be around. Outgoing. Hyper. Bubbly personality. Secretive. Boy/girl crazy. Loves sports, music, leisure and traveling. Systematic.. Hot but has brains.

NOVEMBER = SWEETIE

Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Shy towards opposite sex. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck.. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. having many children. Hardworking. High spirited.

haha, yeah, me november. Mr. Adorable, april.
i dont know why I'm posting this.
haha! whatever...
hey ! look at the personalities!
we'll look cute together ;;)
*maunya*

Oh, When We Fall...

2010-11-21T06:05:00.001-08:00

You know, ha, i know you know.. well, hmm.. the problem with being in love ?
well yeah. i know falling in love is fantastic, fascinating, amazing, and amusing. I always adore the feeling of falling in love. It's one of a lot of things that I love in this world.
You know, falling in love is special. Like... well, in a normal condition people will hate to fall. It's fuckin hurts. But people will be so pleased, so happy they falling in love.

Yeah. But it would be so much more amazing. A hundred more amazing if you know when the person you falling in love with is ready to catch you. For the one who doesnt know yet if the person willing to catch or not.. well, they will love the sensation of wondering and blushing and wondering. Haha. It's really cute you know ? Watching someone falling in love. They will giggling or blushing with no reason. Haha. Yeah, dont try to read their mind. It must be effing cheesy :p

But sometimes, for those people who still wondering if the person they fall in love with is willing to catch them or not, there's must be something annoying in their head beside all of those chessy scene lol. yeah.. that annoying question : "what if she/him didnt want to catch me?" .
when this question appear. It's a really turning person off.

Yeah, to be honest, it's what I'm feeling right now. Yeah. I'm enjoying the sensation of wondering, blushing and yeah.. sometimes stalking ha ha ha *awkward laugh* but yeah again.. that question annoyed me so much.

Luckily, I found this quote that always makes me to keep enjoying and smiling for the amazing feeling.

"the reason why playground slides were made is for us to experience the joy of falling even tho there's no one to catch our fall."

That quote always success made me go all the way "whatever, i dont give a shit. the most important is right now, the feeling is amazing. thanks God for letting me feeling this way again"

Thats it.
Yeah, still...
I still want him to fall into me! Duh! Hahaha. It's obvious
Kay.. hmm just ... God, please? Make him falling into me please ? Pleaseeeee.
I"ll take care of everything. Please God. Please.
And y'all.. whoever read this post.
Pray for me. Okay. Kay :)

Today Wishlist

2010-11-21T03:23:00.000-08:00

coke!
chips!
someone please do my PPKN take home test. I'd rather do my PIHI than this.

Catch Me. Please ?

2010-11-20T07:54:00.000-08:00

I'm falling hard for you.
I dont know what I expected to.
Well, i know.
I want you to fall into me too.
Well, at least... stumble ?
or secretly stumble?

But how.
Oh. H O W ?

My bestie said. slow down for your feeling.
But dont go slow down on him.

H O W ?

H-O-W

Hey, you Mr. Adorable. Please dont be in love with someone else.
Well, yeah.Even if you do.Please make it me, the one you fall into.

sumpah ini suddenly galau pas ngepost. jadi maaf kalo menjijikkan.

What I Like In A Guy

2010-11-15T23:06:00.000-08:00

Confession

2010-11-15T22:33:00.000-08:00

I dont know why but right now, I just want to flooding my blog pages with all the list-stuffs. Well, here it goes. enjoy :) !

I haven't visit West Java and Jakarta yet, seriously. i know, lame huh? i'm dying to go there. I got bored visiting Bali, well, not bored tho, but just... i want to know how it looked like in West Java and Jakarta! Well, my bestie said that Jakarta is like, Indonesia's NYC and Surabaya more like Washington.
I wish my parents took me to music course when I was a kid. Dang! I'm dying to play guitar, or play piano and stuffs. or at least singing course? well, my voice is terrible. You know, I'm a rockstar and a diva too just when I'm in my bathroom :p
I wanna have a photography skill. And I want a DSLR camera but to ask for it to my Dad, i just think it's not that important. Besides, my parents rather choose pocket camera -.- well, well, well.
I freaking love history ! But mostly, MYTHOLOGY! Greek's, British or even Rome's ancient mythology where they talked about Gods, Dragon, Witches, it's so freaking cool! But what a pity, cant find much of mythology books in Indonesia. Well, so I just got reference from novels and movies and stuffs,
I miss being in love after broke up with my latest ex. Yeah, one year ago. He broke me so bad. And my heart is like dead. But well, thanks God, this past 2 months, am in love with this guy. yeah still, i think he dont know that i like him but i freaking want him to like me too. God. I really want to get closer to him, but i just dont know how, yeah because he's senior and not much seeing each other. He's so adorable but he seemed like he dont even know how adorable he is. but it"s kinda big thing for me just when he finally know my name and sometimes commenting on my wallpost. usually when he commenting on my wall post, i'll literally freaked out and smiling and laughing :) well, just pray that he like me too. kay ? :)

Huh?!

2010-11-15T22:15:00.001-08:00

Name : Dina
School : Hogwarts Witchcraft and Wizarding School.
House : Gryffindor
Quidditch Position : Catcher
Deepest Secret : I"m secretly love Lord Voldemort's sarcasm taste.
Favorite Subject : Spells and Defense of Dark Magic Arts
Favorite Hangout Place : Weasley's shop
Obsession : Wishing what I wrote above is true.

Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows part 1 on November 19th. WOOHOO.
Cant believe Harry Potter is gonna end soon tho :(

I Like It. I Dislike It.

2010-11-15T20:08:00.000-08:00

well, so... today is a day off.
and i got so pissed with a person in my house.
so yeah, better i keep up with internet.
well i want to list, hmm 10 things i like and dislikes.
well, its inspired by cassyebunn's blog. and i dont mean to copy her.
but i think it's kinda fun.

soo here it goes !

I Like :

mr. adorable :)
hugs
ice tea !
the smell of new book.
sate kulit depan spensa! enak banget !
fries.
having a silent hang out with my bestie
all about witches and wizards
greek's ancient mythology
being falling in love --with mr. adorable

I DISLIKE :

hot weather!
buttons
COCKROACH!
being yelled at
my phone is off.
attention-stealer
immature people
tomatoes
homeworks
strange people who acts cheesy to me.

well! see :)

What? I Just Want To Skip This Day Already

2010-11-12T10:34:00.000-08:00

hey.
so, i really fucked up today.
dear universe, you can die in a hole right now,
k,thanksbaiii !

Waiting on 8th November

2010-11-08T07:55:00.000-08:00

yah ini lanjutan dari postingan sebelumnya, sebenernya lgi uts nih , besok uts politik, tapi sumpah belom buka buku sama sekali haaaaahh gara gara dari tadi pagi melek blackberry udah ribut notifications happy birthday tapi tau kan yang gue tunggu wall happy birthday dari siapa ? ya orang itu ! hah padahal temennya udah pada ngewall semua haaaaaaaaaa.

pulang sampe rumah tadi jam 7 an udah buntu gitu nungguin notification facebook di bb.
akhirnya mikir kira kira online gak yah tuh orang. hah ya sudahlah kalo dia memang tidak online, kalo online ya iseng iseng berhadiah hahahah. DANNNN TADAAAAAAA apa apaan ini dia juga online !!!!!!!! nah ni orang baru off nih.

dengan masih tidak ada wall dari dia

*sigh*

ataupun chat facebook dari dia *sigh*

inget omngannya tasha : mungkin orangnya kayak aku, gak pernah ngucapin happy birthday gitu di facebook.

hah ya amin lah sha .

udah ah capek !
belum belajar politik !
besok jam 7
ah shitty

mr. adorable, sleep well !!

Happy 8 November !!!

2010-11-08T07:23:00.000-08:00

Hello.
Its 8th November!
My freakin birthday !!!!!!

So, my wish is just i want him. like, seriously.

Well, kalo liat postingan sebelumnya yang lagi buntu ada Hi please be in love again itu saking buntunya haha sampe gak sadar nulis apaan. yah, sakit hati berkepanjangan sampe mati rasa yah kayak gitu deh jadinya, seems like still wanting the ex, tapi sebenernya ngga, ngerasa kosong aja.

So, I met this guy at college !!!!!! He is my senior. He's adorable. Like, seriously adorable that i can barely breath just looking at him. I just kept sigh-ing everytime he wore formal outfit, cause he looked so damn cool. He is so fine, obviously easily blow my mind.

when he's around i can feel my heart beating so fast, (ini nggak lebay tapi benerannnn !!!!!!!!!!!)

but who am I ? am just his junior, he didnt even know my name, it took my 2 friends to make him know my name, and I was freaking happy when he finally know my name !!!! :)
the thing is , how can i make him notice of my existence, so i make a promise with myself to talk with him first. God it need a lot of bravery. -.-

and when I talk with my bestie about this guy, she pushed me to click the add friend button on his facebook first. GOD NO WAAAAYYYYYY. but she told me blah blah blah then finally i click the button with closing my eyes -.- but tadaaaaaaa, he was online at that time :D ;D and i really love that night because we talked by comments, tadaaaaaaaa :))))))))))))))))

he is so adorable but he seemed like dont know if he's adorable,

kalo kata sasa sih : udahlah lagian tuh orang kayak udah desperate gitu juga cari cewek
terus aku histerically ngechat balik ngomong : DREAMING ABOUT THE DAY WHEN YOU WAKE UP AND FIND THAT WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR HAS BEEN HERE THE WHOLE TIME!!!!!

Barusan ngintip facebooknya, haaaaa kenapa sih dia gak tau kalo ada akuuuu disiiniiii,
A GIRL STANDING HERE, ADORE HIM WITH EVERYTHING HE GOT . DUUUUUHHHHH.

kenapa nih orang sepertinya gimana gitu ke aku ?

sebelumnya yah tau kan, aku udah bilang, ini tuh beneran rasanya kayak mati rasa.
nah gara gara mas beau tres bien ini, aku bisa nulis kayak yang diatas tadi, bisa senang bisa loncat loncat bisa kayak gitu lagi.

everytime he's around i feel more alive than ever.

karena sebelumnya mati rasa gara gara manusia satu itu.

hahhhhh,

so, i only ask God this one for my birthday, HIM.
for he make me feel more alive
for he's being so adorable

ps : hey mr. adorable , if you looking for someone, take a look at me.
am standing here, adoring you for the way you are.

Fucking Exhausted

2010-10-21T10:24:00.000-07:00

HEY YOU COLLEGE, I HAVE LIFE YOUUUUU KNOOWWW ?!
JOURNALS, SOLVE YOUR OWN PROBLEMS KAY ? JUST READ THE BOOK , IT'S ALL THERE.
JUST GO READ IT WHILE I KICK YO ASS.

Pretty Little Liars

2010-10-03T09:51:00.000-07:00

so. hai :D
from yesterday its been a good 2 days off.
for 2 weeks all of the task and homeworks sucking my energies out.
i'm glad when theres no effin text coming in my inbox telling us we have to do this, do that and stuffs at saturday and sunday.

lifes good. finally i watched Camp Rock 2! YAYY. Its amazing. Demi Lovato is this close to perfection. ha. thats my girl bitches :) and i crying my eyes out too when i watched Letters to Juliet. its so beautiful and making me addicted to Love Story again. LOL

but you know?i found my new addiction on sunday. i tried to watched Pretty Little Liars and ended being addicted to that show. The plot is epic. its like Gossip Girl plus a thriller movie. Not so thriller really but just... theres a lot of mistery. yeah, from the start you can already know its all about secret.

so, there's this five girls, having a leader, Alison, who also have everyone's secrets too doing some sleep over in a summer together, when they just woke up and found out Alison is missing. Until 1 year, its still a mistery where Alison gone. But they started to have a 'blackmail' notes, text, IM, email and it always ended with initial A. They believe its Alison when suddenly it turned out that police found her dead body but the blackmail messages didnt stop. Looks like someone messing with the 4 friends, eh ?

So... yeah. pretty interesting right?

And the character is amazing too. all of the is so damn pretty. but my favorite is Lucy Hale who played as Aria. She's so beautiful. the way she dressed is so amazing. She's lika ASGJDGDJHFKJFLJSJSKSK AMAZING. I dont know that its legal to be that pretty. :O

i know, she looks like Selena Gomez a bit. PSH
My favorite couple ?
EZRIA ! EZRA AND ARIA. WOOHOO

Kay. Goodbye. My legs hurts from my first softball practice. bye!
eh, wait ... unknown number text me....

heads up BFFs its open season on liars and I'm hunting -A

Insecure

2010-09-26T00:09:00.001-07:00

I hate days like this.
when I'm all of sudden feels so insecure.
i really really hate it,
i hate being insecure.

i'm about to cry.
i dont want to feel so insecure.
remembering all of the things that i lost, all of the mistake that i made.
i really hate this.
i hate.

she hates the sun, cause it proves she's not alone,
and the world doesn't revolve around her soul
she loves the sky, cause it validates her pride,
never let her know when she is wrong

hello, you, i want to cry now.
will you please suddenly standing in front of my door
and hug me the way you used to be ?
can we please be in love again ?
i miss you :(

Hello

2010-09-26T00:09:00.000-07:00

My Life in My Head #1

2010-09-25T21:34:00.000-07:00

Dang ! Just woke up.
I can feel my feet freezing. This winter is so not cool.
and plus, i'm so going to late for my first class.
adjagdkahfljglhkfhsljljdslksj. gah.
i took a quick shower with a hot water of course, and put on my new sweater and my jeans.
i'm looking under my bed and grab my brown boots and wear it.

i'm closing my laptop, and unplug all the charger cable, ipod cable, and put it in a small case inside my bag. i'm running to my bathroom and stand in front of the mirror and trying to make my hair up, still... a little bit messy. i dont care, whatever.

i'm running halfway through the room, and grab my coat and my bag plus my laptop. i locked my apartment and running downstairs.

im outside my building now. GEEZZZ. ITS FREEZZINGGGG. I run across the street, and buy a cup of hot capuccino and walking to my college, its just about 15 minutes.

i arrived in front of my college just right when the bell rings, i walk to my Ancient Greek History class, its in the south wing of this college. i entered the class and find Mr. Jackson at his table, being all busy with his laptop.

"Goodmorning"
"Oh. Goodmorning. Its your presentation turn today. Are you ready?," Mr. Jackson replied
"Ha. Yep"
"Kay. You can start now"

I spent about 10 minutes to present my analysis the life of Aphrodite, one of the Goddess in Greek Mythology. I can answer all of the argument well. the bottom line is that class is success.

Ah! A nice thing to start this morning right ?

I sit back in my seat and sipping my cappucino. Life's good my friend... :)

First Day College. TOMORROW !

2010-09-19T08:22:00.002-07:00

Ya... ya... ya...
first day college is tomorrow,

Anyway, have I told you yet which college im going to ?
well, buat yang pernah baca blogku pasti tau kalo aku keterima di UGM.
but guess what ?

yeah, am not going there.

a lot of story anyway, am gonna talk about my choosing-college-days one day,

well, so, i am going to Airlangga University, in my hometown (i know those who read my blog will shocked cause you know how i want to leave this effin city --") I took International Relation.
And I've done the university and faculty orientation which is .... sucks. haha, yeah you know what happened lah with those kind of stuffs. so not important :/

Alhamdulillah bangetlah, hari pertama kuliah, maksudnya kuliah perdan gitu, masuknya langsung sore, hahaha, YESSSS. masih bisa ngebo deh kan yaaaaaa ;)

Mata kuliah pertama? Pengantar Ilmu Hubungan Internasional. 3 sks.
Hmm. Semoga gak ngantuk, semoga besok ada yang bisa bikin excited, biar gak ngantuk gitu.
Secaraaa yaaa,otak sudah mati sejak bulan April. Tauk deh, kerja lagi yah kamu otak, yang pinter :))

Anyway, the good thing is my new friends is pretty cool.
well, i hope my college life as fun as my school life with my social mates !

Finding Myself Again

2010-09-19T07:42:00.000-07:00

Hi.

So, i went through this phase thinking about who i really am one day. ha. yeah. you can imagine i was sitting in my balcony, the wind blowing my hair and im ignoring the world by put my earphones on.

well, here it is...

i've been living and existed in this world for almost 18 years. its obvious, i'm not the same person as me 10 years ago. a lot of things made me who i am now. wrong choices, perfect choices, broken hearts, broken promises, broken heart, friend, haters, best friends, tears.... they made me who i am today.

i learned from my mistakes, well not all of my mistake :p. i know, i'm still brave enough yet so dumb wanting to repeat my mistake again, well, maybe its because i dont want to admit that i'm wrong.... not yet. haha, but eventually, i'll meet this turning point where im not going to repeat it again.

you know, when i was a kid, an innocent kid in this fucked up world (tsahh,sadis bahasanya)
i used to be this well organized girl, perfectionist,and so formal. when i got angry, i'll turn into this scary little kid who slamming the door, stomping my feet, kicking stuff, throwing anything, and screaming as i cried.

but now, im not a well organized girl anymore, when im so tired, i'll go all messing my room around, so unformal, and when i got angry, i'll go all crying silently in the corner.

well, life changed me.life's been singing me this beautiful melody, giving me this softest touch but life, can be so evil too, life's been throwing bricks at me that i bleeding my veins out, life's been soaking me wet with tears too. let me tell you my friend, that's life. sucks. but beautiful, you know.... bipolar.

there's always dark side and bright side in the new me.usually when im about to change my attitude, hmm what should i called this ? transition (wtf, i'm not a werewolf --") i'll become a total rebel, maybe yeah thats because i dont know whats going on in my head,i mean like... I KNOW but, you know, the pressure when you seems like you cant find yourself...
i gotta admit that, the way im doing it sucking people"s emotions out, haha. But heyyy, at least im not doing it all the time righttt ?

You know,people does change, but you know, hearts cant.

Happy Anniversary

2010-09-19T06:59:00.003-07:00

30.08.09-30.08.10

hello.
its been a year since the last time we talked.

you know,
people said that when you turn your head behind you, looking back at your past, you'll amazed how life has changed so fast.
sadly,
it didn't happen to me when i'm thinking about you.

my heart still as broken as that night; a year ago.

you've broke me at my best, you broke me beyond repair. what happened to my heart then ?
i cant feel anything now. its frozen.

God, i'm torn apart inside.

it's amazing knowing you finally can stuck with someone, keeping your love for someone for a year long. but just..... its not me, tragic, i know, yet i feel like i've teach you how to love someone so well...

it's amazing too now, after a year, i'm becoming a pro in faking a smile. i can wrap up all of my tears with just one smile. a broken smile.

we were once together, you know, but i asked for break-up. but then again, apparently God, lead our way to be together again. it was so wonderful, but fairy tales is not made for us, you asked for a break up.

sometimes, im wondering. why God doing all of this? Is there any next chapter for us? cause God didnt let me to feel anything, to feel love again after i broke up with you,

standing out in the rain, need to know if its over....

well, hmm.. its killing me to talk about this.

i hope you doing well, i hope life's always on your side. be happy.
i hope i can finally feeling love again, soon.
cause i cant keep standing like this for another year.

oh, what a shame, what a rainy ending given to a perfect day....

I'm Sooo Coming Back !

2010-09-19T06:24:00.001-07:00

Hai. Hi. Hello. EVERRRYYBODYYYYY.

WHOA. Wow.when did the last time I post something here? April ?
Mannn,its such a long time. 5 Months ? WOOOW.
Psh, you know, for 5 months i'm barely touch laptop too.
Been stuck with my Blackberry. Hahaha.

..........................

GEEZ. ITS SO HARD TYPING ON LAPTOP AGAIN!!!
I KEEP DOING TYPOS !

My hands used to typing in my Blackberry keypad, for 5 months.
Hmmmmm.

Anyway, Im surprised when I logged on, I found out that I have 2 followers! YAYYY
Haahahahha. chessy, i know. But hey, at least someone like to read my crap story right? hahahaha

Well, so, im back :D

Some Nick Jonas Hotness Everybody ?!!!

2010-04-25T06:10:00.001-07:00

Holla everyone ! Sooo, hmm here's the thing. I am sitting in front of my laptop and downloading for JONAS season 1 eps 1 and I have to waited up until 2 hours. Crazy much ?!? I'm pretty scared that this will cost a lot. Oh man. I hope it didnt happen. If it really happen. I'm not gonna use laptop again until next month D:

So well, hmm. talking about JONAS. Imma pretty lame cz I dont even have watched any of the episode yet. That's why I download first episode of season 1. And guys, dont blame me. I've told ya that I'm not subscribing cable TV (which is lame). JONAS is an original Disney TV Shows. The role, of course, Jonas Brothers and plus, Nicole Andersen and Chelsea Staub. JONAS starts filming the season 2 this year. But idk when it will be aired.

When they were filming the season 2. There's some scene that I've got from JustJaredJr which in that stills of JONAS, Nick J was SUPER HOT !

That's ! That words come from me like "Nick J is HOT" is totally a random words that I ever say because, ya know. My heart, belongs to Joe J. HA! I'm not surprised to myself if I say, like.... "OH HOLY CRAP JOE JONAS!!!! -sigh- YOU ARE FREAKIN HOT. MAN, I CANT BELIEVE YOU ARE A LIVING CREATURE" but a simple "NICK J OH MY JONAS! AWESOOMEEE" could make myself jumped, even I was the one who said that. Because, you know, I always said that Joe is the hot one and Nick J is the cute one. Well cute and hot is totally a different thing. Am I right, Ladiesssss ?

This is the pic which made me freak out :

more photos ? check www.JustJaredJr.com :)

I Told Ya It's A Good Friday!

2010-04-16T07:56:00.000-07:00

Alhamdulillah, Thanks so much God for listened my pray, everyday and everynight. Today, I got news that I'm accepted in Gadjah Mada University. History class ! WOO-HOO!!!

When I woke up this morning, I'm feeling good although I had only a little sleep in which I'm feeling like I'm not even sleeping yet. But the weather is good. Demi Lovato tweets a lot and even doing a Twitter Spreeee !!!!! Yayyyy. I'm excited and in my head and heart I wish that was a good sign for today, my favorite things happened in the morning. So of course yeah i'm hoping so.

When I got home, I was so nervous about the announcement.So I decided to spent my time with watched Gossip Girl since 2 pm until 6pm, when suddenly Kakag texted me told me that there's already an announcement! Man, i just cant breath easily after that, I'm so nervous.

I opened the web page with my mom and I'm screaming when I found out that I was accepted!!!!! In that minute, I cried a lot.

God, Thank You, I am totally nothing without You.

God is good, fellas !! xooooxxooo :)

My Favorite TV Shows Lately

2010-04-15T08:50:00.000-07:00

Well, i'm pretty stressed out lately because of all this practical test and college thingy. I got cranky easily and well, i'll spend most of time by watching DVDs when I'm upset or pissed off.
Recently, I used to always watching all TV Shows on DVD such as Glee, GossipGirl, Hannah Montana, Sonny With A Chance, Heroes, Supernatural etc.

Since I'm not subscribing any of cable TV program such as Indovision or else (because my parents know that I'm gonna be addicted !!) i should watch it all on DVD. Well, what I watched recently is Glee and Gossip Girl.

Glee

I love their voice, I love the stories. You should really listen to their song. Awesomely perfect. Glee still in their first season and their 14th episode just aired in FOX at April 13. I've just watched the 13th episode, i'm so going to download it :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Gossip Girl

"Gossip Girl here, your one and only source into the scandalous lives of Manhattan's elite"

The narator who known as GossipGirl always starts each episode with that words.

Gossip Girl already on their 3rd season now, and I've just watched the first season hahahahaha. The stories, which is full of scandals is sooooo crazy. The series always formatted with some kind like a blog page or gossip site i think, called GossipGirl, aand the headlines lead us to the story.

and you know the best part of GG ?

BOYS, and FASHION !!!!!! Blah, I'm dying .
The boys is soooooooooo hhhhhhhhooooooooooooootsssssssssssss
Fashion item ? PERFECT
The girls ? ANGELS .

Nate Archibald (Chace Crawford) so hot! The best !

But I do love Dan Humphrey too :P he's typical of a nice guy.

and GossipGirl always ends with this words each episode :

"You know you love me. X.O.X.O. Gossip Girl"

Blah !!!!

2010-04-15T08:13:00.000-07:00

Geez !!!! I think I'm going to crazy sooner. This college stuffs really killing me for sure.
I dont have any university yet. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

And you know it's hard to keep optimistic.
This Saturday, the announcement of UM- UGM.
God pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, let me accepted.
Even my name in the last list.
God I beg you.

IM MIXEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD UPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

Jemi Love Birds :))

2010-04-09T16:40:00.000-07:00

Ahh, How does it feel when your favorite celebs dating ?? Uh Oh I'm excited :DDDD!!!!
Yeah when the rumors spread that Demi Lovato confirms that Jemi is real (Joe Jonas) i cant stop tweeting and feeling excited. It was like me who dated Joe. Hahahahah.

Let me say this, i'm a HUGE fans of Demi Lovato. I kinda feel like I'm really into her --it's crazy how a fan feels-- and I'm realllyyy falling for Joe Jonas, hahaha. He's so hot. I could die for thousands times just because of Him. I keep sigh-ing everytime I looked his face. see!

And now when they're dating. I was like WHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA for 24/7. BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I love their chemistry, well for Jemi fans, we called it Jemistry (Joe Demi Chemistry) what a cute name righttttt !!!!!!

When their first kissing photos blast the website. #Jemi and #Jemikiss become a trending topic. You know what, I'm going to die when Demi tweeted "Thanks for the cute trending topic guys, You're all so sweet :) " WHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA !

You know, today they announces about Cambio.com i dont know what it is but Demi Lovato, Jonas Brothers, Honor Society, Jordin Sparks, and more joined this site so i register myself in Cambio Insider List. And when I'm watching to the video there's Jemi moments there ! Ahhhh so cuteeeeee :3

Yeah you can call me crazy now -giggles-

This One, God. I Want It So Bad

2010-04-09T16:27:00.000-07:00

God, i never get anything easily for me. This one, i really want to be accepted in University of Indonesia. The test is on Sunday, pleaseee God i really beg You to help me and bless me. I. Am. Nothing. Without. YOU.

I'm not begging You for a new phone --someone stole mine :(-- even though i really want it.
I'm not begging You for a boyfriend, God, even I'm so lonely right now.
I'm not begginy You to make me more beautiful or anything...
This one God, just this one. Being accepted in University of Indonesia.

If it happens, that's just because of You, God.

I just want to live my life. I want my parents proud of me.
They've already spent a lot of money for me. Course and anything else.
I'm not from a wealthy family but I'm not poor too, I only have to achieved something in order to have what I want.

This time, I'm not try to achive something because I want something. NO. This is just for my future and my parents.

God, I'm begging you to make it happen...

You are the only one who can help me.

Boyfriend at Birthday

2010-04-08T00:17:00.000-07:00

Let me say this, boyfriend at birthday.
No. never had even once. I didnt mean i never have any bf. Just, in my birthday i never have any bf. Always single.

Yeah haha, i have bf before my bday, and then i'm single on my bday, then i have bf again after my bday.

So tell me guys, how does it feel when you have someone in your bday .

Oh life.

My Life, Now

2010-04-05T08:34:00.000-07:00

I am changing.
Since I'm broken, since I've been betrayed.
There's someone who said that 'What doesnt kill you only makes you strong'. It really happened :)

I'm becoming more independent than before, I dont mind if I have to go to mall by myself, I consider it as my quality time for my self (Fyi, i will never go to cinemas alone! I DONT KNOW THE SEAT!!!). I dont mind to be left alone. To be honest, it makes my life simpler than before :)) I loke how it feels. Really.

I'm being more honest to my self, to my friends, to my life. I'm standing on my opinion.
If i dont like it, i'll say it. I dont care what ppl think about my opinion, it sounds arrogant right? but hey, I'm tired ! For the rest of my 17 years life, I used to live other ppl life. I need to live my life. I need a room for me to breathe.

My life now :

1. Family and friends
2. Schools
3. Musics
4. Hollywood Teen-Celebs (esp. Joe Jonas, Demi Lovato and Miley!)

Well, those are my life now, pretty much fine :)

I dont care if ppl keep wondering why my tweets always using English instead of Indonesian. It was like 'Hello guys, i create this account to improve my English! Got that ?'
I got a lot of international friends too in my twitter account :) . For example.... Mayu (herusername is gagajonas). She's from Japan. It's funny how she always being like some kind of my translator when I'm having Japanesse test :D She's soo nice :)

Whoops, i think I forgot about mentioning some boyfriends stuffs.
NO . nothing about love in my life lately. Just, No .
(But I feel a bit like Nick Jonas now, LMAO---if you really know what i'm saying ;) )

So, guys.. Live your life like.... NOW !

This Is The Reason Why I Called Myself as STUPID

2010-04-05T07:49:00.000-07:00

I've been received like 2 or 3 awards from my blogger friends, i really want to take it but guys...
Uhmmm, i dont know how to take it. would someone be kind enough to tell me ? -giggles-

A Little Bit Longer, I'll Be Fine...

2010-02-22T20:41:00.001-08:00

I feel so gloomy today, i feel so alone. I dont know what am i suppose to do when i realize, i'm all alone.

No, technically not alone, i have family, friends, and a lot of ppl around me.

But, not a lover. No BF. Yes, i'm officially pathetic. Laugh at me and feel sorry to me.

I didnt mean i just have one focus in my life, that is love. No. That's not true.

But, i cant lie that i'm in a terribly mess now since my last failed-love-story. I'm waitin someone to cure my wound, to heal my pain. but there's no one there. Not a single one.

I mean, yes. I got my friends but that's not what i mean.

And things are getting worse. The fact that i'm having kinda crush on someone who have already taken. That's so UH-OH DISASTER! I dont wanna do this. I never want to do this. But, honestly, it's still a simple crush, and i dont even have any idea to take him from his gf. No. I never wanna do that.

Something missing from my heart, i couldnt breath easily today. I never breath easily when i remembering him.

He's all of my first.
First and the only one i kissed.
First and only boy i ever hugged.
First...
First...
First one i fell for.

There's some reason why i want to go to university in Jakarta, UI, beside that is the best university , i wanna start a new life there. Meet some new ppl, new different cultures.. Far away from this city. I'm sick of always meet all of the ppl who ever hurted me, or at least know about my past stories. I feel like GAAAHH. Lemme outta here!
I cant stand it anymore.
I cant.......

"Waitin on a cure, but none of them are sure, a little bit longer and i'll be fine.
Cause you dont know what you got till it's gone and you dont know what it's like to feel so low. And everytime you smile and time you glow, you dont even know know know.......

A little bit longer, and i'll be fine"

Yes, i'm gonna be fine on my new life at Jakarta.

ps : soo, pray me, wish me, hope me, to be able to be accepted in UI. God bless.

In A Rain, I'd Reeeaaallly Love To Play This Song

2010-02-20T10:01:00.000-08:00

Miley Cyrus ft Nick Jonas - Before The Storm

Yeah
Woah

I know this isn't what I wanted
I never thought it'd come this far
Just thinkin' back to where we started
And how we lost all that we are.

We were young and times were easy
But I could see it's not the same
I'm standing here but you don't see me
I'd give it all for that to change

And I don't want to lose her
Don't wanna let her go

I'm standing out in the rain
I need to know if it's over
Cause I will leave you alone

Flooded with all this pain
Knowing that I'll never hold her

Like I did before the storm (yeah)
Before the storm

With every strike of lightning

Comes a memory that lasts

And not a word is left unspoken
As the thunder starts to crash

Maybe I should give up.

I'm standing out in the rain
I need to know if it's over
Cause I will leave you alone

Flooded with all this pain
Knowing that I'll never hold her
Like I did before the storm

Trying to keep the lights from going out

And the clouds from ripping out my broken heart
We always say,
A heart is not a whole
Without the one who gets you through the storm

Standin' out in the rain
Knowing that it's really over
Please don't leave me alone.
I'm flooded with all this pain,
Knowing that I'll never hold you
Like I did before the storm

Yeah
Like I did before,
The storm.

PS : if you're curious, i put the song on my playlist :)

I'm A New Disney Addict

2010-02-20T09:34:00.000-08:00

Haha, yess from the title you should've know what I'm going to post here sooooo... hey if you already know, why should i post it ?
..............
...............
................
...............
...............
..............
..............
................
...............
..............
................

Hahaha, No way I'm kidding. Well yeah, I admit that I'm going crazy over Miley Cyrus, Demi Lovato and Jonas Brothers lately. And guess what ?? I announced myself as a JEMI person! What ? Jemi ? no that's not my friend. And definitely doesnt have any relation to Jeffrey Widjaya Alie, my classmates --a God, please.
IT'S JEMI ! Joe Jonas and Demi Lovato ! I love to see them as BFF but Hey, they're so perfectly together ! I love them both. Demi Lovato is AWESOME andJoe Jonas is freakingly AWESOME!!!!

Yeahh, and I'm going crazy to Miley Cyrus lately. Well, who doesn't ? She's so talented. I love her voice style. And her song is wayyy too awesomee too :D
Yeah yeah yeah.

Hello Again From Me !!

2010-02-20T09:17:00.000-08:00

Hahahaha. Imma such a freak ! I've told yall to be more active on my blog well, I guess I'm lying. BAHAHAHA. Sorry sorry. I've cheated on Twitter too long. And anyway, I'm so busy lately. Tired to preparing my final exam. errr.... could it be worse ?

Yahhh, i'm preparing myself to the University test. Damn! Why do i still lazy ?

And I make some foreign friend on Twitter. It's FUN ! REALLY ! I love the doo-da-doo good times :)) Well, when I said i'm being happy with my followers, idk it seems that one of my followers said that is no use to be exist on social-network. HA! at least I make friend with some foreign ppl. EAT THAT ! Yeah you're popular, I know. At least I'm improving my english skill. BEAT THAT ! :D

Hey, I've changed my Blog title , it's become " SECRET THOUGHTS OF TEENAGER" and the line is "well, not so secret anymore" HAAAAA!! I love my new Blog and line title name !!
Well, I post some of my thoughts here, well but when ppl read it , it wasnt a secret anymore right ??

I'm starting a new life on Blog (AGAIN) Ha! Whatever .

Wait, why do I become soooo cheesy ?

Love y'all ! xoxo

Should I Give A Title ?

2010-01-16T11:44:00.000-08:00

Haloo, udah malem nih.Err lebih tepatnya pagi. Belum ngantuk sama sekali. Ngutak ngutik tumblr sama blog yang sudah beribu tahun nggak diurus. hihi maaf yaaaaa sayangku muah muah :*

Udah keburu cerita di tumblr duluan nih. Jadi bingung mau nulis apaan --a

TUMBLR ACCOUNT

2010-01-16T11:10:00.000-08:00

Guys, follow my Tumblr
http://piecesofdina.tumblr.com

xoxo

Comfortable

2009-11-14T06:33:00.000-08:00

my comfortable zone was you, but now that you left me behind, i try to find another comfortable zone for myself, a room to breath for me but it seems that i cant find it , this is way too hard for me.

our love was so comfortable ... and so broken in :'(

YES ! I Adore Them :D

2009-11-13T09:40:00.000-08:00

Demi Lovato, Taylor Swift and Miley Cyrus. WOW, THEY'RE AWESOME ! W-O-W !
actually, i prefer Demi and Taylor, but i can't deny that Miley is guhhhrreeeaaatt singer and she's cool and nice, sweet and blah blah blah.. everybody knew that. But still, don't know why i prefer Demi and Taylor than Miley ;p.

talking about that 3 rocking girls, i remember this one name too, Selena Gomez. yeaaaahhh.. ya know her, rite ? don't know why , i think that Selena is a bit awkward (sorry for Selena's fans, just saying, no offense ;p) especially on Send It On videos, i dont like her hair, looks not fit with her face. Dont believe it ? Check the video !

But, you know what ? She's terribly awesome when I watched her video for OST Princess Protection Program featuring Demi Lovato 'One and The Same' check it out !

fyi, aku ketularan temenku nih kayaknya, jadi addict Disney's artist . well, her name is Sasa, and ya know what ? She's really a huge fans of Miley ! I almost think that she will die when Miley deleted her Twitter account, i feel pretty upset too, but Sasa seems like crying, hahaha. Thank's God, Demi and Taylor keep their tweet account :))

they are sweet
they are cool
they got an awesome voice
they are a good role model for teenage.

... and that's why i adore them :D

keep on the good job girls. xoxo

I Choose

2009-10-24T22:13:00.000-07:00

Here am I now looking at 30 and I got so much to say.
I gotta get this off of my chest, I gotta let it go today.
I was always too concerned about what everybody would think.
But I can't live for everybody, I gotta live my life for me.
I pitched a fork in the road of my life and ain't nothing gonna happen unless I decide.

And I choose to be the best that I can be.
I choose to be authentic in everything I do.
My past don't dictate who I am. I choose.

I done been through some painful things I thought that I would never make it through.
Filled up with shame from the top of my head to the soles of my shoes.
I put myself in so many chaotic circumstances, but by the grace of God I've been given so many second chances.
But today I decided to let it all go. I'm dropping these bags, I'm making room for my joy.

Because you never know where life is gonna take you and you can't change where you've been.
But today, I have the opportunity to choose.
I used to have guilt about why things happen they way they did cuz life is gone do what it do.
And everyday, I have the opportunity to choose.

From this day forward I'm going to be exactly who I am.
I don't need to change the way that I live just to get a man.
I even had a talk with my mama and I told her the day I'm grown,
"from this day forward, every decision I make will be my own."

Balada Rapot Sisipan

2009-10-24T21:50:00.000-07:00

sehari setelah DAF, tanggal 25 kemaren lebih tepatnya.

RAPOT SISIPAN

jengjengg , aku udah pasraaaah . pol sak pasrah psarah nya murid.
aku udah tau kalo rapotku ini begitu diliat ibuku, wess alamat amarah besaarr :O
gimana nggak ? lhaa hasil ulangan ulanganku lohh jelek -jelek. huhu.
manaaa aku tambah buntu ae tiap hariii.
ckckckc.

sekarang jadi punya manager,
semuanyaaaaa jadi diatur. huhuu.
gapapa lah ,

DEMI !

demi masa depan cerah. haha . AMIINNNNNN .

DAF 2k9

2009-10-24T21:09:00.000-07:00

alhamdulillaaahhh ya Allah, DAF udah selese.
proker terakhir OSIS masa jabatan 2008-2009 = DONE !
tinggal nunggu sertijab deh yaaaa !yihaaaaa . haha
rencananya besok senin udah sertijab :D
yessss ! woo- hoo. ga sabar pengen cepat merayakan hari kembalinya saya menjadi manusia normal. haha :D

anyway aku mau cerita tentang DAF nya aja dehh, proyek terakhir OSIS yang akhirnya terlaksana dan sukses :D yaahhh seengaknya OSIS tahunku ini akhirnya bisa mbuktiin juga kalo kita bisa. ay yeeyyy !

DAF tahun ini temanya Funtastic Carnival . Haha, yang usul tema aku looohhh. haha.
jadi konsep nya dibikin kayak di acara karnaval karnaval gitu. ada badutnya segala. sebnernya pengen pake orang orang yang bisa makan api itu loo. tapi yaaah dana terbatas deh ya. hhi ;p well, emang sih, kalo dibandingin sama DAF tahun lalu yang WOW banget sampe pake 3 GS (RAN, J-Rocks, Netral) plus tempat yang di JAtim Expo, DAF tahun ini serhanaaa poll notok jedookkk laahhh. udah GS nya cuman 1, tempatnya disekolah lagi --a.

DAF tahun ini bisa terlaksana aja, panitia sudah alhamdulillah banget, mengingat urusan tetek bengek sama sekolah yang belibet polll. acara DAf ini ada kali yaaa udah diundur sampe 8 bulan --a. ckckck. hebatt dongg ketuanyaaa kalo sampe akhirnya bisa dilaksanain acaranya. ICHA is the best :bd !

well, tahun ini GS untuk DAF : Vierra.
wew, dari Smada sendiri awalnya banyak yang nunjukin penolakan sama Vierra. duhhh, binguungg banget ini sudahan yang jadi panitia. tapi yaa mau g imana lagi, toh tetep aja massa yang dateng ke DAF kemaren banyak . ya kaaann ?

Band Performancenya banyak , ada Albert n The Product, Heavy Monster, Athenian, D'Art, I Scream For Ice Cream, bla bla bla banyaaakkk gaaa inget.
beuh, pas di lapangannya aja manusia udah tumpek blek di lapangan utamanya itu. udah berasa sauna berjamaah. WOO HHOOOOOO.

bla bla blaaaaaa.

akhirnya sampe waktu si mbak Widy mau tampil, werrr kita yang udah sauna sauna gini pengen tuh mbak ndang keluar ndang selese gitu loo. haha. waktu disuruh neriakin Vierra Vierra gitu yang ada aku sama anak anak malah teriak " KESUENN SOGOOOLLL AEEE SENG TAMPIILLLL !!!" HUAHAHA. ancene arek sos koleng, buntu, lewung. metaaaallll mennnn \m/ HAHAHA

waktu mb Widy tampil dia nyecream bookkk. wooooo. aku udah pernah sihh denger dia nyecream di Youtube. tapi yaaa baru kali ini liat LIVE. weheeeee sangar kon mbak Widy. GAHOEL. HAHAHAHHA. \m/

yaaa waktu dia menyanyikan lagu PERIH entah mengapa saya dan julek yang sudaah dari awal mulai memperlihatkan tanda tanda buntu mulai mbrebek terus nangis sama tereak tereak . HAHA. tai banget kok emang para lelaki. hahahasuuu.

yaaaaa, begitulahh sedikit dari sekian banyak kegilaan yang terjadi di SMADA FIESTA 2K9 FUNTASTIC CARNIVAL . not bad lah sebagai kenangan buat angkatanku yang bentar lagi lulus (AMIN!).

VIVA SMADA !

Crazy Circumstences

2009-10-21T03:44:00.001-07:00

tiba tiba kepikiran kamu.

rasanya kayak ada angin lewat di dadaku. sbentar. tapi cukup bikin aku merinding.

kamu selalu..
selalu..
dan selalu ..

mudaah sekali kamu menciptakan rasa itu. terlalu mudah bahkan menurutku.

sebenarnya akan begitu mudah menjadikan kita brdua jadi satu.. namun sayangnya sejauh ini momen tidak pernah berpihak pada kita.

kita seperti berlari dlm lingkaran. siklus yang terus menerus berputar..

ini semua tentang kamu. tentang semua hal kecil padamu dan padaku yang membuat kita seperti ini.

aku cuma bisa bertanya , bisakah kita ?
bisakah kita benar benar menjadikannya nyata kali ini ?
atau ..
kali ini kita terperangkap lagi dalam siklus yang sama dimana sekarang ini giliranku yang berperan ?

Aku Kenapa ?

2009-10-19T08:03:00.001-07:00

hmm...

bgung ah, ak bgung dan gak nyaman. ak sndri bgung kok sama otak, hati, ginjal, lambungku, bahkan sama upilku sendiri. hha. ga ding. serius nih.

bgung ajaaa aaaarrrrggggghhh !

ini ttg hati.

knp ya , dlm satu momen aku bs dengan sekejap bsa ngerasaa seneengggg baanggett , rasanya udh kyk fall in love bangett banget. bhkan smpe speechless dan pkiranku ga kmana mana slain itu orang.
rasanya udah kyk. 'oke, he's now the one that i want so bad now'

smpe ga konsen ngapa ngapain. udah deh, udah kyk org bneran jatuh cintong pol notok jedok. phew.. speachless and sighing a lot while smiling. that's what i did in that moment.

tp skg, masalahnya, the problem is ..

dalam sekejap juga bsa tiba tiba ilang gtu perasaan yg kyk tadi. tiba tiba... hmmm.. ya udah, bles ilang gitu. I'M SO WEIRD !!

bsa tiba tiba it yaa males gt nanggepin sang objek . tiba tiba ga trtarik lg dg dia.
tpi, itu brulang terus dg orang yg samaa. gaaaahhhhh !

aku udah berasa jadi hot and cold gt . cepet bgt panasnya. cepet juga dinginnya. arrgghh.

kalo liriknya katy perry udah gnti deh jadi ' cz i'm hot then i'm cold, i'm yes then i'm not, i'm in then i'm up, i'm up and down' werr...

knpaa yaaa ..
aku juga ga ngerti.
tp sumpah ga nyaman sma kndsi kyk gni. eerrrgghh.

kenapa yaa ?
AH, AKU KENAPA SIH ?

btw, tentang objek yg satu ini, kapan kapan aku ceritain deh ya . lagi buntu nih. huooh huooh. akuu kenaapaaaa ??

As I Pray Tonite

2009-10-18T08:33:00.001-07:00

doaku malam ini sblm tdur :

ya Allah, hambaa mohoon padamuu ya Allah supaya seminggu ke depan dan smpe seterusnya ga kayak seminggu ini.. kabulkanlah doaku . aminn .

doain yaa supaya doaku trkabul. huhu. seminggu ini ud kyk living in hell. huhuhuh. dmarahin trus trusan . jd ga bs nyore sama anak" di bwah pohon lagi. ahhhhh...... sucks :( blm lagi pilek, pegel. oh maan.. ampuni dosaku ya Allah.

pray me for a nice weeks puuhleeeassee .

i gotta go sleep .
sleep tight guys, goodnite moon, stars, bat, vampires, zombies etc *crossing finger*

This Is How Things Became Insane

2009-10-17T17:00:00.000-07:00

I think I've already lost you
I think you're already gone
I think I'm finally scared now
You think I'm weak - I think you're wrong
I think you're already leaving
Feels like your hand is on the door
I thought this place was an empire
Now I'm relaxed - I can't be sure

and I think you're so mean - I think we should try
I think I could need - this in my life
I think I'm scared - I think too much
I know it's wrong it's a problem I'm dealing

If you're gone - maybe it's time to come home
There's an awful lot of breathing room
But I can hardly move
If you're gone - baby you need to come home,oh come home
There's a little bit of something me
In everything in you

I bet you're hard to get over
I bet the moon just won't shine
I bet my hands I can stay here
I bet you need - more than you mind - Matchbox 20, If You're Gone

waktu malem itu. waktu aku putus sama dia, aku lagi dengerin lagu ini.
hiyy.. merinding gak sih bisa kebenaran gitu? gak sengaja padahal.
yaaaaayy gituuu lahhhhh pokoknya yang jelas seminggu setelah putus aku masih yang namanya nangis nangisin dia apalagi kalo dibumbui dengan lagu lagu super melow. HUAH ! semakin parah nangisku..

tapi jujur, aku gak ada rasa benci sedikitpun sama dia, aku gak ngerasa nyesel atopun gimana.
aku bukan tipe orang yang benci sama mantan begitu udah putus. yaaa gak bisa gitu lah. gitu gitu juga pernah jadi pacarku. orang yang pernah bikin aku seneng. yaaa masa begitu putus yaa terus langsung benci gitu. well, intinya at the whole week i'm broken. deeply broken.

jujur yaa, bukannya aku gimana . tapi waktu itu walopun udah putus sama dia jujur aku nggak berhenti buat doain dia juga . apalagi waktu itu masih puasaan. werr...

terus aku inget banget, waktu itu aku pagi pagi sebelum berangkat sekolah, habis sahur, aku iseng buka facebooknya dia. ding ! gak ada apa apa. ya sudaaaa dehhhh. masuk sekolah dengan hati masih merasa mellow marshmallow gitu . menduuungggg mulu ini muka. tapi udah lumayan lah ... gile ajeee seminggu gitu loooo. masa masih mau nangis ngeroengg ?? udaahh yaaa, ketemu disekolah sama para tuyul dan mbok mboknya itu udah bikin aku seneng . HEY ! this is a good start rite ? everything was fine until..

siang siang pelajarannya pak bambang. geje. buka facebooknya dia.

DEG !

recent activity nya is now in a relationship with (tiittt !)

aku kaget. sumpah kaget. waktu itu lagi duduk sama via.
aku cuman bisa ngehela nafas. nutup mata. dan ngomong satu kata
"BANGSAT !"

bressssss.. langsung nangis di rok nya via sampe basah gitu. via langsung kaget, ngambil hapeku trus ngeliat facebooknya. dannnn....... malah emosi sendiri. bolak balik ngomong

"nggateli !"

"kebacut pek wong iki !"

"tin, kag, man, nadddddd, siniiiii "

"sbar yaaaa. cik. pengen tak gampar pek wong iku"

trus yaa setelah ribet ribet gitu. si via , titin, kakag harus balik ke kelas mereka. jadi aku ditinggal, gak ada yang roknya bisa dijadikan korban air mata lagi. otomatis yak apa yak apa kudu berhenti nangisku.

aku diem, masih sama sesenggukan gitu.

tiba tiba kepalaku peniinnggggggg poooollll rasanya kayak darah dari kaki naik semua ke kepala.
udah gitu dadaku sesek.

AKU MARAH. AKU KECEWA.

sisa hari itu aku lewatin dengan mokel plus meso meso. ya Allah, astfrullohh.

ada yang bilang,

"ya udah lah kalo kamu emang sayang sama dia, km hrus ikt bahagia dia sama orng lain"

HEY ! aku tauuuu ituuu. tapi ini bukan masalah itu. ini masalah : "HELLO? ARE YOU INSANE OR WHAT ? kamu baru semingggu putus udah jadian lagi ?" ituu namanya kebacuutttttt bangeeeettttttt. sampe ada yang bilang kalo dia itu gak pantes dibilang cowok. nah lo !

Do you feel like a man when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?

"lohhh ya udahlahhh toh dia gak jadian sama ceweknya yang sekarang pas masih sama kamu kan ?"

TAPIII itu berarti dia udah pdkt sama cewek laen kan sebelum putus sama aku ? a.k.a masih pacaran sama aku kan ? LOSER ! COWARD !

sumapaaahhhh aku nyeseeelllll banget waktu semingguku tak buat nangisin dia. mana pake acara doain dia lagi . duoh. GAK LAGI DEH YAA !. aku kecewa pol sama dia dalam seminggu udah dapet cewek lagi . ajee gileeeeee. 4 bulan gak ada artinya buat dia. astfrulloh ngenesssssss....

udah. cukup.
udah gak pantes ditangisin lagi.
bisa gila.

i'm over it.
goodbye , jerk !

ps : ternyata dia jadiannya 5 hari setelah putus sama aku. bukan seminggu. WOW.

Jealous

2009-10-11T08:35:00.000-07:00

apa ya ?
hmm.. malem malem gni , ga bs bobo. msh trang bnderang malah mataku. nntn tv ga ada yg bgus. social network-ing , bossenn banget. duoh. what to do .. what to do ?

hemm.. brusan aja tweeting an sma pcarnya bestiesku.. reading all of his tweets .. making me feelin....... man, i'm jealous. yeah. bkn krn aku sk cwonya lo ya tp yaa jealous bcause i want their relationship, cwony it bneraan sayaaanggg gt sma dia. keliatan bgt bgt. and so far .. ni cwok juga good boy. hmm.. kalo mau deskripsiin cwokny shbtku ini yaa bs dwakilkan dg prtanyaan ini ' what else do you want from a boy like him?' he's good. and i'm soo happy my friend had him as her boyf. she really deserves him :)

i'm reading his tweet sayin ' i hate to see you so down beb' ...

werr... lgsng mellow saya. bkn krn sya skg single tp lbh kpada knp saya seringkali dptny malah cwo yg ga baek, ga kyk pcar tmen saya it. yg bs segituny syg sm cwenya... ngiriiii...!

so, hurry come my way my prince charming !

for my besties and her boyf , keep on the good relationship between both of you guys ! i'm happy for you two :D

Ain't The Same Again

2009-09-29T10:04:00.000-07:00

bulan puasa tahun ini cobaan buat aku beraaaaatttt banget rasanya.
bukan laper . bukan haus juga.
tapi emosi.

emosi saya benar benar dipermainkan. beneran di uji.
Ya Allah, aku cuman bisa diem. menghela nafas. nyoba ga nangis. nahan marah. sambil terus terusan mikir 'ya Allah semoga semua cobaan yang Kau beri buat aku, semua sakit ini bisa ngehapus semua dosaku dan bisa melancarkan jalanku ngehadepin unas, snmptn dan sebagainya' it's the only thing that i hold when i got lost.

jadi gini, di minggu pertama puasa itu aku udah mati matian njaga emosi. Gara garanya aku waktu itu udah sekitar 2 minggu gak ketemu sama dia. kebayang kan kangennya gimana ? daannn... dia itu tipe orang yang cuek ! tambah menjadi kan kangenku ? wesss gitu lah pokoknya. kacau pokoknya. udah kangen. tapi dia modelnya cuek gitu bikin mangkel. tapi puasa. aaaahhhhh. uda gitu dia mulai aktif facebook an pula. gemes ngeliat cewek cewek yang ada di facebooknya dia. huuhhh. FACEBOOK EMANG CUMAN BISA BIKIN PERKARA TOK ! grr. jadilah saya, kangen + cuek + jealous= KACAU !

udah gitu, satu lagi ada cowok yang suka sama dia . IYA ! COWOK ! . emh kon mampusss yoooo.. emang sih sebenernya yaaa gak worth it lah aku ngeladenin homo. bzz. tapi yo mangkel ae rek bojoku ditaksir homo. mana pake nulis di status fb pula. gawe nguamoookkkk. ya udah terus aku ya nyindir dia lewat statusku : 'HE IS MINE, CEWEK ATO COWOK YANG GANGGU TAK GIGIT' haha. eh nah looo dia malah balik ngatain aku lewat statusnya dia. huooossss pokoknya pada intinya dengan dia ngatain aku dia semakin BUSTED kalo naksir mantanku itu. HAHAHAHAHAHA. yaaa wesss gitu lah terus si mantanku itu juga bilang kok aneh sma tu anak. yaaa terus aku bilang supaya gak usah direken ajaa. yaaaaaaa. terus males ngurusi lagi. eh trnyata saya sudah di remove dari fb nya tuh homo. HAHA. whatsoever deh.... tapi nahan emosinya itu loo beneran susah. mana yang dia nyumpahin aku pula. ya Allah. astfrullohal adzim.

terus abis gituu pas pondok rmdhn bibi bilang kalo dia kayak ngeliat dia (mantan) itu berangkat sekolah ama cewek anak smp gitu. NAH LO ! ya aku kget. aku udah was was. mana diwall nya dia lo aku tau ada anak anak smp cewek gitu. yaaa gitu lah pokoknya intinya. wessss, tambh satu lagi beban nahan emosiku. huuuhh. udah pengen nangis. tapi aku nyoba buat ga negthink. buat percaya sama dia.

"you're the kind of boy who can take down a girl and lift her back up again so easily"

kata kata itu cukup menggambarkan bagaimana dia ke aku. ckup dger dia bicara aku dengan mudahnya percaya dan menganggap that's everything's allrite . but deep down in my heart i know that sometings really annoyed me.

terus satu lagi . ada kejadian, aku kecelakaan.
parah. hidungku berdarah. tangan kaki dagu dahi lecet semua :(
sakiiittt. aku bilang ke dia. waktu dia bilang 'aku khawatir kalo km kyk gini' i'm pretty happy heared that. nunjukin kalo dia emang masih care sama aku. aku seneng :')
but the strange one is, dia gak nunjukin niatan mau nengok aku. aku udah mulai feeling taht something bad will happen. tapi aku selalu nyoba untuk posthink...

lama lama aku ngerasa dia mulai jauh dari aku. mulai nyuekin. everything STRANGE !

dlm hati :

deg. shit. knp ini kyk dulu ya. kenapa tanda tanda nya kayak dulu yaa. before everything's come to an end.

again. i tried to posthink --a

but, my feelin was TRUE !

yaa jadi aku inget . hari itu, tanggal 30 Agustus 2009.
pagi pagi. i tried to figured things out.
malemnya, aku nyoba nyari penjelasan. knp dia kyk gitu. itu beneran ato cuman perasaanku aja.
and we started to talk..
............
............
...........

yaaaa gitu intinya !

intinya :

he said that he wasnt good for me . that i'm too good for him. dan dia ngerasa ga pantes buat aku. jadi .. PUTUS .

i've tried to keep him stay. tapi ngga bisaaa. no matter how hard i tried..

so here we are.. we come to the end

"It is so easy to see
Dysfunction between you and me
We must free up these tired souls
Before the sadness gets us both

I tried and tried to let you know
I love you but I'm letting go
It may not last but I don't know
Just don't know

If you don't know
Then you can't care
And I show up
But you're not there
But I'm waiting
And you want to
Still afraid that I will desert you

Everyday
With every word whispered we get more far away
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay
But nothing last forever, but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way

A babe that's warm with memories
Can heal us temporarily
The misbehaving all he makes
The ditch between us so damn deep

Built a wall around my heart
Never let it fall apart
Strangely I wish secretly
It won't fall down while I'm asleep

If you don't know
Then you can't care
And I show up
But you're not there
But I'm waiting
And you want to
Still afraid that I will desert you, babe

Everyday
With every word whispered we get more far away
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay
But nothing last forever, but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way

But we have not hit the ground
Doesn't mean we're not still falling, oh..
I want so bad to pick you up
But you're still too reluctant to accept my help
What a shame I hope you find somewhere to place the blame
But until then the fact remains

Everyday
With every word whispered we get more far away
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay
Nothing last forever, but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way" - Maroon 5, Nothing Lasts Forever

10.04.09-30.08.09.. GAME OVER

Been A Long Time

2009-09-29T09:39:00.000-07:00

hello bloggers !
been a long time since my last post rite ?
well, so many things happen in my life .

let me say it once again: SOO MANY THINGS HAPPEN .

and a lot of things changes too..

aku ceritain satu satu yaa !

MOS !!

2009-07-13T20:05:00.000-07:00

grr . satu kata : MANJA SEMUA !!

fcknsht school rules too. because of the new school staffs. ergh.

ga boleh ini, ga boleh itu. ga usaah mos sekalian aja, ayo OSIS- MPK cepetan resign aja. calon penerus juga bkin kcwa doang. grr. manja juga. adekk, buktikan dong kemampuan kaliaan :( ~

dont wanna wasting my time thinking about this fckin-stuffs.

This Feeling Confusing Me So Bad

2009-06-29T11:33:00.000-07:00

to be patience, to try understand you. those are some of my way to love you, but there's sometimes... it feels so goddamn hard to do that. especially when you put me alone. i know you dont mean to ignore me, it's just.. the way you are. you're kind of that boy. i know it. i understand . but i'm not guilty if sometimes i don't want to understand you right ? damn it. somebody answer me ! sometimes i think that you are soo selfish. am i wrong?

i love you ,though .. i just a lil bit confused with that. i'm not objected to do that, you know.. i'm just a lil bit confused.

but as if you know, i will never let you fall and love you still, better or worse :)

Busy Time ?

2009-06-19T09:13:00.000-07:00

omgosh !

idk. aku lagi ada di titik paling membosankan saat berorganisasi.
hhh. cuman bisa narik nafas panjang.
sebelumnya sih nggak pernah gini.

padaahaaall. akhir-akhir taun jaran gini malah banyak kegiataan, dan saya menduduki jabatan penting di hampir setiap kegiatan tersebut ! OH MANNN . SOMEBODY, TAKE ME OUTTA FROM HERE !

dan saya sedang tidak mood untuk berorganisasi :@

well, tidak bertanggung jawab sama sekali kan? hhmmphh. aku juga ngerasa gitu sih. hello, i wanna act crazy this time. being a no-one. and hangout with my friends. and not doing that kind of thing ! meeting, blah blah blah. ah. STOP IT !

tapiii, tenang. aku juga masih inget tanggung jawab.

so ? ada yang tau gimana caranya ngilangin ke-badmood-an ku akan hal ini ?

Sometimes I Wonder

2009-06-19T08:55:00.000-07:00

sometimes, I wonder..

are you scare to lose me ?
will you conscious if I dissapear from you ?
would you swear, that you'll always be mine ?
do you..

a lot of questions inside my heart.

am I in too deep ?
have I lost my mind ?

hesitate ?
well, maybe yes. maybe no.
I don't know.

what I really know is.. I do love you. I don't even want to lose you.

I hope we can make this lasts forever. AMIN :D

i love you dear :)

No Internet Connection

2009-06-17T10:27:00.000-07:00

oh my shit !. gaaaa enakk bangettt rasanya hapeku ga bisa buat internetan :(
weits. bkannya hapeku jadul layar kuning gitu bukaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnn. jadi gini ceritanya..

sebenernya ga tau gimana ceritanya. haha ;p

pokonyaa tiba tiba waktu mau online lewat hape ngga bisa teruss. pertamanya sih mikir apa pulsanya abis ? cek cek cek . nah lo, ga abis koo ! terus nyoba online terus dengan tampang bego walaupun itu terus-terusan muncul tulisan 'no connection accounts'. congggokkkk !
dan kegiatan ngutekhape terus berlanjuut sampe bosen. haha. well, at the end intinya data gprs di hapeku ilang secara misterius. dasaar hape dodoll. aneh aneh ae. zz

ok. kirim sms daftar gprs lagi . tring tring tringggg . beberapa saat kemudian ada konfirmasi kalo settingannya udah terinstall. ayeeee ! TAPI.............. waktu dicoba kok tetep lolak-lolok see hapeku ! grr. sampe 3 kali daftar gprs mulu teteeepp ga bisa. oh madafaka !

well, sebenernya bisa sih, kalo ga ol di hape kan bisa ol di kompi, tapi looo ga enakkk. ga efektif dan efisien.zz. sebel ah sebeeelll. beteeee. kata pacar saya tersayaang disuruh bawa ke providernya aja. duh, malesnyaa !

ah my mobilephone sucks !

The Bastardians Effect

2009-06-13T17:35:00.000-07:00

"IS 2 (o8-o9) . deep inside .. proud of being here . proud of become part of them . so glad and so thankful

kelas bangsat yg pada gak tau diri dan gak tau malu juga gak tau takut .
every single day kita selalu ngerasain keceriaan dan penderitaan di waktu yg sama, haha . because of para bastardians yg memang benar" bastard hangkok tekos, hehe .

no gap , we're family :)

love this class .
thank you everyone :)
we know that we'll miss out on each other and miss the moments we've shared"

that words, coming from my gorgeous friend ( i mean it !), Rahma Julma, usually called : julek, kelek, markelek, hahaha :D.
those words, i feel it too, yeah :(
in the fact, i don't want to apart from them.

seperti biasanya, tiap naik kelas, pasti di rolling kan kelasnya ? huff. emang sih, kelas ips di smada, cuman 2 kelas, IS 2 sma IS 1. tapiii, both of this two class, is soooo differentt !
udah kayak bumi dan langit.

they're sooo not US, the bastardians :D

awal masuk kelas ini, berasa aura nggak enak. aku ga kenal siapa-siapa. trus keknya sombong semuaa. ahh, mana bestiesku semuanya pada masuk ipa. betee. aku juga bisa masuk ipa. tapi aku gak mau ! dari jaman jebot aku juga udah ga mau masuk ipa ! i love social .

tapi ya gitu itu resikonyaa, pertama kek ga ada temen. palingan yang nyambung sama aku cuman Fabi, bibi chaaan. yang lain ? ah , what so ever. tapi itu dulluuuuuuuuuuu banget. biasa lah, namanya juga baru kenal. belum ngerti apa-apa .

but now ?

i'll miss this class so baddd .

i love the craziness that we've made. i love all of our noises.
i love the stupidity that we've done. i love our friendships .

i love every single thing that this class had :,)

2 Months with Him

2009-06-13T16:46:00.000-07:00

oiya, lupa belum cerita, kemaren tanggal 10 Juni 2009 , i've been with him for 2 months :D

Ya Allah, semoga kita langgeng yah. can't find words to say. yang jelas seneng bangett
semogaa, kita berdua bisa langgeng .

Anak Agung Gde Rezha Grawitha +Dina Hadfina Mulyani = forever ! amin :D

10.04.09 - 10. 06. 09 - nexttt thousands months ! (haha, ini style favoritku kalo nulis !)

anyway, aku nemuin kata-kata ini loh, ga tau omongannya sapa. tiba tiba aja triinggggg ! muncul di kepalaku . hahaha .

"we're never been broke up, we're just.......... apart for a little while. and we will not apart again "

ah. that's sound soooo US .

i love you, rezha, bimo, nyenyet, monyet elek bauk kelek, agung, gde. haha. bnyak bgt panggilannya. kwkwkwkw

lots of love .

Final Test is Hell

2009-06-13T16:15:00.000-07:00

finally, UAS udah selese ! ups, belum sih, sebenernya masih sisa 2 hari, besok Senin sama Selasa. ahh, what so ever dehh. kita anggap SELESAI ! ayyyyeeeyyy ! lagian ulangannya yang sis 2 hari itu cuman TIK, Seni, dan Penjas

penting ta ?
HAHAHAHAHAHAH

hmm, sumpah. rasanya UAS kali ini malesss bangett, apalagi dibandingin sma UHT kmaren. beda jauh. UAS kali ini aku bener-bener 'HIDUP MENCONTEK!' hahaha parrraaaahhh . sering gitu terdiam doang pas baca soalnya. intensitas nyonteknya anak-anak juga gitu. semakin menggila. haha. oke, sebut saja teman saya,

ojink dan jablay

wewewe. kali ini mereka sangar mameeennn. kalo tanya langsung

" din, njaluk tolong iki, 1 sampe 40 yoo. plissss "

ah, ya sudahlaah aku kasih tau aja mereka. males pada intinya ikut ulangan. jadi ak bagi jawaban layaknya bagi sembako.hahaha. apaan sih ? tapi-tapi karena itu, waktu ulangan jepang, yng notabene saya buta huruf dan gak belajar sama sekali, aku dapet full contekan dari mereka berdua. hahahaah.mameeeennnn daaahhhh ! yippi yey.

sumpah. tiap malem rasanya malesss belajar. mesti nunda, trus akhirnya belajar kilat jam 4 pagi.
jam 4 pagi, malah buka facebook. gak jadi belajar deh. hahaha. ya ampuun udahh wes aku ga tau nilaiku gmana. andaikan UAS ku ini ada remed nya, pastiii kena banyak.hahahaha. nyebelin pol deh.

malesnya lagi, yang njaga itu lo, alaaamaakjaaan . males banget. gak enak semua. arrgghhh.

well, the worst part of this final exam is ...

it means , time to be a 11th grader will over , soon :(

Bersamamu

2009-06-06T10:37:00.000-07:00

Memandang wajahmu cerah
Membuatku tersenyum senang
Indah dunia
Tentu saja kita pernah
Mengalami perbedaan kita lalui

Tapi aku merasa,
Jatuh terlalu dalam cintamu
Ku tak akan berubah
Ku tak ingin kau pergi slamanya oohh…

Ku kan setia menjagamu
Bersama dirimu dirimu oohh…
Sampai nanti akan slalu
Bersama dirimu…

Saat bersamamu kasih
Kumerasa bahagia dalam pelukmu :)

Seperti yang kau katakan
Kau akan slalu ada
Menjaga memeluk diriku
Dengan cintamu

Tentang Sebuah Kisah

2009-05-22T02:39:00.001-07:00

"...aku mencintaimu bukan karena siapapun atau bukan karena mereka..
cinta itu butuh pengorbanan hati, dan cinta tak butuh waktu yang sesaat.
jika kita bertahan cinta itu milik kita..."

Making An Indie Movie

2009-05-20T12:13:00.000-07:00

hmm, kemaren waktu tanggal 9 sama 10 Mei kemaren, diajak adiba ikut acara sinematografi nih.
yaahh, berhubung saat itu aku lagi nganggur, dan ditinggal nyenyeet ke Bali pula, ya uda , memutuskan untuk ikutann,

well, ada 10 orang yang ikutan : adiba, aku, jemo, nita, didin, randa, angga, tija, indra dan dede.

wew. kita ini yang bener-bener udah butaa bikin film, kita mah bisanya cuman nonton, hahahahahah. teruss, after that, hmm apalah itu.. ngantuk gue.. disuruh bikin film Cut-to-Cut

Cut-to-Cut adalah film pendek tanpa menggunakan editing sama sekali kecuali dari handycam yang digunakan

well, kita memutuskan buat bikin cerita tentanggg... hmm ada deh rahasia, ntar aku posting aja dehh videonya :DD, judul filmya "TO-DO LIST"

The Cast :

Angga Dwi S as Director
Nur Elya Adiba as Camerawoman
Nita Permata Sari as Production Manager
Dina Hadfina M as Music Director
Adi Wasista as Art Director
Fitricia Pranasetia as Make-up artist and as Bu Tya
Rahmanda Taqwa as Randa
Indra Rezka P as Pak Indra
Chaydir Yashadi as Udin
Adesya Abdullah as Pengemis :DD

udah dulu yaah gue capekk mamennn. bobo dulu.

nite everybody :*)

cuman mau pamerr :)

2009-05-20T11:42:00.000-07:00

hahahaha :). setelah sekiaan laamaaa ga ngedit foto (dikarenakan kehilangan feel.zz.ga penting ) akhirnya tergerak untuk ngedit lagi ;pp

tapi kok dari dulu sampe sekarang style ngeditku gituuuu muluu yaa.
eww

beda ruangan, beda hasil

2009-05-20T10:13:00.000-07:00

hoaahhh :O
saat ini , saya sedaaangg... hmm.. ga tau lah..

pretty messy ?
YES

ingeet hasil UHT Matematika haaaassshhitttt. ahjor menn.
i got bad score. well, i know i'm not doing good at that time.. but i just can't believe the score :OO
daaannn, something ~~funny~~ strange, eh ?

kenapa mostly siswa kelas XI IPS 2 yang di ruang 18 remed ?

WELL, mengingat kondisi ruangan kita yang berada di AULA ...ehm..sekali lagi ...AULAAAA
dan tauu kan gimana gedenya aula SMADA tercinta ? dan tau kan jenis meja dan kursi yang berada didalam aula ?
well, buat yang bukan anak SMADA, saya jelaskan..

AULA : yah namanya aula yaah pasti gedelah
MEJA-KURSI : seperti bangku kuliah.

*tambahan : aula dilengkapi mike dan speaker dimana itu sangat menggelegar sekali saat digunakan untuk menegur anak

"faisal sekali lagi kamu begitu, saya ambil ulangannya"

sadis ? SADIS rekkk... berasa UNAS yang masih akan ditempuh 1 taun lagi berada di depan mataaa :O .

UHT Matematika, nilai tertinggi dapetnya di pilihan gandanya, harusnyaa ini jadi keberuntungan tersendiri kan ? tinggal lirik kanan-kiri... BERES !. but we've got problem here :

1. soalnya A B A B ~ ih wooooowwww
2. tempat duduknya, berasa beda benua booooo' juaahhhuuhhh

Fak ! MAMPUS !

toleh kanan-kiri woooowwwww. beribu kebingungan meennn..

selanjutnya, yahhh bisa dilihat dari hasilnya .
ah, whatashit.

tapi bandingkan dengan siswa XI IPS 2 ruang 17

ih, wooooww.kereeen meeenn nilainyaa. turut bahagia deh :')
dan, FYI, ruang 17 berada di ruang kelas seperti pada umumnya dengan jarak bangku yang amat sangat menyenangkan hati...
bukannya apa-apa, tapi bahkan teman saya yang bisa dibilang ~~pinter~~ pun tidak remed. dan bandingkan dengan teman saya yang saya percayai memiliki tingkat IQ fantastis , pun remed !

yaahhh . sometimes life's could be sooo UNFAIR

Hadirmu

2009-05-20T09:55:00.000-07:00

"Ingin kulihat dari matamu
Bilakah kaupun merindukanku
Terasa indah di hatiku
Saat dirimu hadir untukku
Ingin kudengar dari hatimu
Sudikah kau tuk temani aku
Begitu indah kurasakan
Bila hadirmu memang untukku..dan kini

Takkan ada ( yang mengisi hatiku)
Dirimulah (satu kan mengisi hatiku)
Percayalah(kukatakan pada dirimu…sayangku hanyalah untukmu nana…nana…nana)
Selamanya…Selama-lamanya
Hari ini esok dan nanti
Kau tetap terindah di hatiku
Bila kau inginkan aku

Dapatkah kau dengar detak jantungku
Kau bukakan mata hatiku
Kau yakinkan diriku
Akankah cinta ini yang kan satukanku denganmu
Selamanya…selama-lamanya

Hari ini esok dan nanti 2x
Ingin kudengar dari hatimu
Bilakah kaupun merindukanku
Ingin kudengar dari hatimu
Sudikah kau tuk temani aku"

ingin mencakar.

2009-05-18T08:31:00.000-07:00

betapa ingin saya mencakar pacar saya saat ini !
ya tuhaan usill banget seh monyet jantan satu itu ! astaga astajim ..
pengen nyuakar sekaligus tak peluk meenn.. hahahah :O

jadi begini,

sehariaan, dia ngilang ! ya allah, gue bgung stengah mati meenn.. di sms bolak balik ga dibalees, awalnya bkin emosi.. lama lama mulai gila ak, bgung, bolak balik ngelirik hape dan diakhiri.. huff.. tarikan nafas kecewa.
haash..
apalagi tadi hari senin ! boriingg--", udah gt yaah , bs diliat dr postingan sblmnya, gue dapet musibah. hoaaaaaa.
wes tambah buetee..

pulang sekola.. tingkat lemas saya bertambah .. suda mulai brkaca kaca (resiko menjadi seseorang berdaya khayal tinggi: kalo mikir luebaayy, smpe bkin nangis dwe)

nympe rumah, capeekkk, mandi, bla bla bla.. telvn hapenya dy..

tuut..tuut..tuut..tuut.

GAK DIANGKAT !

langsung nangiss.. :,(
gulung gulung. hooaa :,o dan semakin mkir yg aneh aneh. zz

then suddenly..
tringg..

"ngapain tlvn ynk? kangen yaa.. hahahaha"

mampus . juaaahaaatt ! lgsng ambl tndakan tlvn lagi (haha. bhasanya book )

mj (monyet jantan)
mb (monyet betina)

mj: halo sayang.
mb: mangkeliiii.
mj: hahaha.. iseng sayang.
mb: tegaa. jahaat!
................................................................................................................................................ bla bla bla..

hah. ya ampun. tegaa bgt se kamu ngisengin ak, haha.

ya, you always coloring up my day dearr.. thanks a lot !
:')

ternyataa, i'm totally messed up without you dear :}

*mav buat semua yg ngerasa postingan ini ga penting bangett dan lebay*